Back to school!

Today is a big day at our house! ALL of the kids will be in school. While I know there are mamas who sit and cry in the corner over their last baby starting school, I'm not one of them. I get it, I really, really do. I empathize with you but I will not be the mama sitting with you.

While I get that your last baby is going to school, I'm embracing this phase in our life. I've embraced each phase as it's come and as it's gone. I realize my days of spending all day with my last baby are done, I get to celebrate and appreciate him a whole new way.

Luca is beyond ready to start kindergarten. I've been told before that he needs the stimulation. He's quick to learn and loves making friends. Heck, after less than a day, he learned to tie his shoe. I think he'll pick up the school routine quickly. Maybe not easily, but he'll get the hang of it quickly. The morning bustle, the getting on the bus, getting off the bus, finding his way, meeting new friends, embracing a different kind of routine, then coming home and all that comes along with end of the day stuff.

A new school year means new things for everyone. It means seeing old friends. It means welcoming and making new friends, which we've already accomplished this summer! It means new schedules, fresh lunches, routines, schedules, new teachers, new classmates. It's really exciting. I try to build up the excitement a lot at home, especially about how amazing their teachers will be. I really value and appreciate our teachers, which is another story.

Mama starts a new semester today too. It's hard to believe I've been teaching full time for almost 3 years. With each semester means changes as well. A new student group, a new schedule, new colleagues and old friends. I get a "fresh start" with each new trimester, it's kind of exciting and fun in my opinion.

I've asked Bella about talking to her class. I've done this EVERY YEAR since kindergarten. Here's the thing, this year I asked and she asked to wait and see.

"Mom I mostly know every one. I mean there are 3 new kids but let's just wait and see how the first day goes."

While I died a little inside, I watched her sweet little face. She was confident and strong. She was brave and happy. She is growing up and she's becoming more certain of who she is and what she wants. This makes me one proud mama. I'll keep you all posted on her final decision in the days to come!

Here comes my soap box

I went to the Habitat Humanity Restore because I'm a sucker for most all things second hand. It might be a slight obsession. I'd rather breathe new life into something than buy something new. No, really! Bella even says her favorite store is Goodwill :)

I'm going to get up on a soapbox now... Hold on tight! I was having a great day. I got a great workout in with plenty of sweat and worked my muscles to complete fatigue. I went an got a 20 minute chair massage at the mall, which was basically like 20 minutes of what I imagine heaven to be like. Then, I ran to the restore because our kitchen table has seen better days... like LOTS of better days. I walked in on cloud 27 from my massage. Then a man rolled a table by. As he rolled passed he said loud enough for me to hear "Nice tits". I stopped dead in my tracks, like I was stung and paralyzed.

Who says stuff like that? I'll tell you who, some douche bag that thinks women are a piece of meat. That views women by the size of their breasts and not the size of their brain, kindness or intelligence.

Why did this man think it was okay to say something like that? What would his parents, his children or maybe even his wife think? Those questions I can't answer.

What was I wearing? I took this picture when I was feeling defeated by this guy... that was my shirt. I took a look down at my attire. Cleavage was COMPLETELY covered. I was wearing a t-shirt, jean shorts and flip flops. Then I thought for a second, even if I was wearing my bikini or my cleavage was out, it's not his place to make rude, obscene comments like that. On a side note I thought, that would be like saying a woman deserves to be raped because of her attire. No woman deserves that!

How could I prevent my boys from saying things to women? I can tell you right now how we are doing in this area. The word stupid and hate are "naughty words" from our house. If someone says that, it's immediate time out. They hear their father compliment me. We talk about people being different, being beautiful and pretty. Things are beautiful and pretty, like butterflies. Luca consistently says "look at that beautiful butterfly mama!" When he sees one. I love that! Grayson is quick to tell me that I look pretty. He'll also tell me if I should wear something else... "Mom wear those shoes, they look really nice." Luca just started saying "that's ugly" and I've been working on correcting him. It might be ugly to him but saying that word doesn't make people feel good and can cause sadness. We talk about how things are ugly to some people and beautiful to others.

How could I prevent my Bella from having that said to her? I will remind her that her beauty isn't determined by her looks. Her beauty is determined by her inside, her kindness, the way she treats others, her strength and determination. The boys will get the same message. I will remind her that she should wear lipstick if it makes her feel good, not because it makes others think she's pretty. I will tell her to lift weights to be strong and push the limits of her body. So that she knows being strong is a feeling you can only get from yourself and being physically and mentally strong is something she should value. Am I as strong as others? No, but to me, I feel strong. That's what matters.

I will continue to remind her that men don't have control of her and how she feels... even though my mood completely changed when this man did that. Here's the thing, it caught me off guard and NOW I know how to react and what to say should this ever happen again... to which I pray, it doesn't.

Go off and teach your kids to be kind...

To the guy that stole my spark today, I've got it back and you, my friend, are a dick.

Just another day at the pool

Last week I took the kids to our typical pool location for an afternoon of sun and water fun. We were playing. Bella was practicing flipping in the water. Luca was showing off his flipping abilities and Grayson learned in two seconds flat. Me, I didn't even try! So she tried flipping for a solid 2 hours, I mean seriously 120 minutes people. No joke! She didn't quite master it but she was persistent!

While I was working with her, I noticed two girls about her age watching. Then I realized they were talking about her hand. Sometimes I want to go all mama bear, but I hold back. That day, I realized what they were doing and I wondered if she realized. I finally asked "Did you notice those girls looking at you? Maybe they know how to flip." She approached them, introduced herself and then they started playing.

Later, her and I were sitting poolside while her brothers played. I always walk the line... do I ask if she noticed or do I say nothing and pretend I didn't notice. I opted to ask. "Bella did you notice those girls you were playing with looking at your hand?"

"No, why?"

"I noticed and wondered if they said anything when you were playing with them."

"No, they didn't say anything. We just played."

"Does it bother you when people stare?"

"Sometimes but most of the time, they'll ask if they have a question. But, if they don't, that's on them."

"True fact sister boo!" I said as I hugged her tight. We continued our conversation about something completely unrelated to those girls.

I thought about it later though. How would I feel if I were Bella? Would I be as confident as she is? Would I be able to just look passed it and invite them to play? Would I even notice the stares? My sweet girl is a bigger, bolder, braver, more confident than I am. Where did she get that? How do I continue that as she grows? I build her up, that's how. I build me up, that's how. I remind her how kind she is, how she's always looking out for others, how caring she is to others. I remind her that I am SO very proud to be her mother and I'm so glad she's my daughter. I remind her that she's currently my favorite 9 year old on the planet and she's my favorite daughter. Yes, we laugh, because she's the ONLY 9 year old in our house and she's my ONLY daughter. I'm her favorite mother too :)

How do I build me up so that she knows that she can continue to be confident? Some days I run around in work out clothes after a gross workout. Guess what, don't care! I'm strong and I got a good workout even if I smell like locker room. Today I encouraged the kids to check out my "bulging biceps" to which Grayson responded "Your weakceps?".  I responded right back "You wish! This mama is STRONG!" As I flexed my biceps. Strong or not in the eyes of others, in my eyes, I'm strong  currently and I'm cool if others don't think that. I build myself up by feeling comfortable in heels and a dress or sweats and no bra. I remind Bella that it's most important to be yourself. I remind her that most of my friends now are "new friends" from the kids school and my closest friends remain in touch frequently. I remind her that it doesn't matter what the rest of her grade thinks of her, that it matters what SHE thinks of her.

How do you build up your kids? What works at your house? What can I learn from you?

It's gym day!

This is our "morning gym day routine"...

"Mom can you tie my shoes?" As I'm naked getting out of the shower and still wet. I mean, just because I'm in the shower or getting out of the shower AND the door is closed, clearly means nothing in this house... ever! Even the dog nudges the door open if it's not all the way latched.

"Babe, you know how to tie your shoes."

"But Mom, it's a gym day and if I do it they'll come lose during gym and I could hurt myself."

"Bella seriously you know how to tie your shoes, you are 8 years old girl."

"Mom I don't want to hurt myself in gym. It'll be better if you do it." I finish drying off and tell her to brush her teeth while I get myself dressed. I come back and and tie her shoes.

"Boo you really have to practice this. You've said you want to be independent and then you ask me every day to tie your shoes."

"Well I do want to be independent with SOME things."

"Well tying shoes is something you are going to be independent at real soon sister!" Out of the bathroom she goes begging me to make a smoothie.

She's playing the card folks. The "I need to be safe and I only have one hand card." Trust me, I know this kid, she's been playing this for awhile now. She's not concerned about safety when she's trying to use a sharp knife to cut an apple.

"Leave me alone! Let me do it! I'm TRYING to be independent and you guys aren't helping me if YOU do it!"

She's even got her younger brother to tie her shoes.

"Grayson can you tie my shoes, I only have one hand and it's harder for me." That kid loves his sister like he loves no one else and he happily ties her shoes.

Those cards are played out folks. She made a video on how to tie shoes for another limb different kid. If she can do it on video, I have proof that she CAN be independent and SAFE when she ties her shoes... though I can't fault her. Now can someone come cook my dinner, I'm not safe with sharp knives or fire.