Healthier me

I shared on Facebook that I'm down over 11 pounds and I can now pull my jeans off without unbuttoning them... an overshare? Maybe... but here's the thing, I wanted to be accountable to me and posting allows me to keep my accountability. I've tried other things, diets, personal trainers, supplements, weighing my food, measuring portions, some of them have worked, some not so much. I've lost weight before but I've never maintained it since having kids.

I can tell you what's working this time. Making ME a priority is working. Putting ME first is working. Loving ME is working. Pushing myself to be the best ME is working. Having accountability to others is working. That's what's different this time. I really want this to work for once and for all. Not just for the weight loss, for the energy, for the stamina, for quality of sleep, for the ability to go up and down a hill chasing my kids without stopping to get winded and needing to take a break. I want to bike with them and be active with them. I want to hike through the forest, up hills, in valleys and not struggle. Building memories is important and I don't want their memories of mama to be complaining about tired joints and being winded when playing.

What am I doing? I'm doing Weight Watchers. Why am I sharing? Because people on Facebook asked and clearly other people struggle as well. Lots of people are trying to find the perfect fit for them. For me, this is the perfect fit, it's teaching me balance and accountability. My mom raved about weight watchers in the passed and it's worked for her before. This time, we are doing this together. Along with her, some other people near and dear to my heart are also doing it too. It's their journey to share so I'll leave it at that. It's the accountability of people reaching out asking how I'm doing and me reaching out saying "what's for lunch?" It's connecting us in ways other than being related or our kids, it's helping us mamas find balance in our lives. Balance that ever eludes most of us. Balance that I still struggle with. Balance that I'm working hard towards each and every day.

I'll be sharing from time to time what I'm eating, what I'm doing, how things are going. This blog was started to educate and if this helps just one person, it's worth it. If it's educating you in some way that you didn't already know, it's worth it. Sharing my struggle and my journey also makes me vulnerable but it also holds me accountable.

And if you are wondering, we aren't talking about weight loss at our house. We're talking about being healthy and making better choices. My daughter picked salad because she watched me pick salad. She picked a little less dressing than normal because she watched my choices. She's eating more veggies and picking healthier snacks. I'm teaching her health. I'm teaching her strength. Those are qualities that are important. I'm teaching her that I'm working out to be strong not because I want to look good in a swim suit. I'm teaching her that I want to run faster and lift stronger weights because being strong makes me feel good. Pick your words wisely especially in front of those little loves! 

Can we all take a pledge?

Isn't momming hard enough? Wait is that even a word. Lately, I've been feeling a little judged about a lot of things. Earlier in the year it was about me working and not being at my kids school enough... another mama judged me for "working and missing out"... I went home and cried. I opted not to say anything because this mama is truly passionate about being a stay at home mom. I finally decided it wasn't worth saying anything because I was heated and that wasn't the right time for me to voice my opinion.

Why did I care that she stayed home? I didn't. She felt truly passionate about it and was expressing her passion which to me came out as more of a judgement. Whether or not that was her intention, it still hurt a bit and stung like salt in an open wound. Hey more power to ya lady! Were they days I wanted to be home more? Hell to the yes! Were there also days I wanted to gallop out the front door and say "see ya later suckers, I get to go to work!"? Um also a big hell yes. The night after my boys decided to be ultra quiet and proceed to color each other with permanent markers was one of those days... how could I survive being a stay at home mom?

There are pros and cons to each... as there are with many things while being a parent and in life. There's often no "right" or "wrong" way to do things. Wanna do a sticker chart? Awesome. You do allowance? Sounds good. Your whole family eats organic? Fantastic. You drink soy milk? Great. There's an on-going joke at our house, Ryan and I differ on a lot of things when it comes to food. He likes ribeye and lots of fat "It flavors the meat". I like leaner cuts of meat with NO fat. He likes crunchy peanut butter, I like creamy. He likes soft boiled eggs, I like any other kind of egg except soft boiled eggs. Somehow, we've still managed to make life work for the last almost 12 years.

I was judged again this week about my dietary choices. I'm pretty sure whatever I put into my body isn't seeping out of my pores and affecting them. What I do know is that I'm making choices that are leading to a healthier me and I've never felt better (well not including when I was 22 before kids and full on adulting, you know when I was able to sleep as much as I wanted... prior to insomnia). Overall, it's my choice and it's working for me! Ryan and the kids aren't eating everything I'm eating and they for sure aren't eating the portions that I'm eating. We've had great dinner conversations about how mommy is working on a healthier diet and eating less sugar and stuff that comes in a package. The kids know I feel better because I'm eating less of that.

At the end of the day, I'll do me and you do you. To me, that means lifting people up when they are doing something that challenges them. I have a friend that runs marathons, not my style but she loves it, so I support her. I have a friend that eats all organic, hey knock yourself out sister! Another friend eats pretty healthy but doesn't want to give up her one can of soda a day, it works for her. A couple of my friends do fitness competitions, to me I have enough judgment but for them it motivates them, kick some butt ladies! Can we just lift each other up instead of tearing each other down?

Healthy living

I’m 3 weeks into this healthy eating thing and I feel fantastic… no really I swear, I do. I’m sleeping like I haven’t slept in 8 years. Instead of getting up three or four times and night and tossing and turning, I get up once a night to use the bathroom (thank you kids for giving me “the mom bladder”) and then go right back to sleep. It’s incredible. I’m feeling better in my own body and I’m owning up to the mistakes I made with eating and exercise in the past.

What mistakes did I make exactly? I would workout like a boss then come home and eat a sleeve of girl scout cookies (hello, I live with a dealer!) What point was the workout when eating like that? Well the point was that it gave me about an hour and a half of kid free, me time. Was it worth it? Hell to the yes!  It was for my sanity but it also wasn’t helping my waistline or the way I felt overall. I was still sluggish and tired and sleeping like crap.

What am I doing differently at the gym? Well I’m still working out like a boss. I’m paying attention to how my body feels and listening more to those cues. You know when you work with a trainer to push you to lift heavier or they give you the motivation for just one more? I’m able to push myself a little harder and a little further now. I still work with a trainer about once every month or so to be sure I’m mixing up what I’m doing and that I’m targeting all of my muscle groups. She gives me a plan and then I follow that plan until we meet again to mix things up. When my knees start aching on the stairclimber, I switch up my cardio. If my feet are killing from my plantar fasciitis, I try the bike. Yes, when you pay attention, your body guides you in what’s best that day. I still push myself, I still get a good workout but I’m really listening to what my body needs in that moment.

How’s the eating thing? No I’m not eating sticks and twigs. I’m actually full almost all of the time. I’m eating on a schedule and set amounts with the help of a coach. She’s helping me kill my nutrition goals. I haven’t weighed or measured since I started three weeks ago so today’s the day. I allowed her to tell me when to weigh and measure, so instead of just following the scale, I can feel the difference in my body. I’m excited to see if the measurements or scale show a change… I feel like they both will! I’m figuring out how to prepare things in a healthy manner so that they taste good and make me feel satisfied. The unreal thing? I don’t really have a craving for the sweets that I so loved before.

My self-control has been really good too. Why? I think because I was truly ready for a change. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. There were donuts in the conference room at work the other day and though I cursed under my breath (who doesn’t love donuts?!), I didn’t eat one. There were cookies at the meeting yesterday and I chose carrots. Why? Because again, the craving for that sweet stuff isn’t really there.

How has having a coach helped? Honestly, I needed that accountability. I knew I had to send her pictures of my food or a food journal. I didn’t want to disappoint her and I knew she was working hard to keep me on track. For me, having someone coach me with the nutrition piece has been essential. Even sending a quick text of “can I eat this?” has helped me understand reading labels better (though most of my food doesn’t have labels now!). She’s also helped me understand why my body needs certain foods and how they affect how I feel.

What keeps you motivated? Any specific foods that you love? Has someone been your motivation or inspiration? I’m curious what others are doing and what keeps you focused! Share away, remember we are all in this together, having support is key!

"Mom why are you weighing your food?"

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know I've started week two of my healthy eating journey. It's been amazing so far. I'd be lying if I said it was easy and there were days I didn't want to rethink what I was doing. It's challenging. I'm a full-time nursing professor, I teach lecture and clinical and have meetings. I'm a full-time mama with three kids that need 100% of my attention all of the time, they need lunches and snacks, sometimes three different breakfasts, homework help, reading at night, bath help and just love. I'm a full-time wife with a husband that I adore. He's handsome and considerate, kind and caring, outgoing and funny... and I'm pretty sure he was a singer in his past :) Life isn't always easy but it's ours and I wouldn't change it for the world.

For awhile I've been watching Bella's friends mom on her journey into health and fitness. Her posts are inspiring and motivational. She's a wealth of knowledge and wants to share that with others. She's not pushy in any way, she never posts about "Come work out with me" or "buy this to support me"... she simply has posted pictures of her journey, pictures of her meals and she's honest. I didn't know her well but after watching her for some time, I reached out to her and said "HELP, I'm ready, I'll pay you!" She responded back quickly and we met shortly after at the gym where she works.

She questioned me... why now? why RIGHT now? when can you start changing your eating? How will you be successful? What kind of support do you have? what motivates you? lots and lots of questions. They pushed me to dig deep and to think about why I decided that NOW is the time for me.

Ultimately, I need to take care of me. I can't continue to pour from an exhausted, empty tank that was often running on fumes. I want to be around to see my grandkids, I want to chase my kids in the yard, I want to show them that eating healthy can taste good and can make you feel good. I want to be the example for them. I want to hike without stopping to catch my breath. I want to sleep soundly and feel rested in the morning. I shared all of this with her.

Last night, Grayson asked "Mom why are you weighing your food?" I responded because I'm trying to learn how to eat better, just like you are learning about things in school. I'm learning how much my body needs and what my body needs to feel good and be healthy. He said "Are you making us healthy too? Are you weighing our food?" "Nope, I'm not weighing your food because your body is growing and we are changing our diets together to eat healthier food. I'm giving your body more of what it needs, like fruits and veggies and meat and healthy snacks" "Good job being healthy mom!" My eyes filled with tears and my eyes are again filling with tears. Why? Because my children are noticing my changes. While they may not be physical (yet!) they are seeing them in the choices I'm making.

That's enough to continue to motivate me!