Helping friends

Bella has been a little sidekick for our friend, Amy at A Doll Like Me. She's BLOWING up on her gofundme campaign and is interviewing left and right! Amy asked if Bella could help out with sharing why having a doll like you is important and Bella, of course, has strong opinions about why! I really enjoyed being there and listening to them both speak. Amy is SO passionate about what she does and she's a one woman show. She's currently running the media, making the dolls, communicating with all of those interested, communicating with people about interviews. She might be the definition of insane currently, but we still love her! As for us, we are SUPER proud of her and happy to help! 

Day one CNL Idaho!

When Mel said “it’s so rustric” she was SO right! Which is part of what draws us to this location. The little cabins, the rocky beach, the staff at the location, the boat rides, tubing, learning to swim, kayaking, hiking, the deck at Wells, the docks, the arch area… the snakes. Yep, I said it, this year I saw TWO snakes and thought that we might never come back to Camp Cross. I’m kidding, kind of. Snakes are NOT my friends.

You fly into Spokane and then make the trek over to Camp Cross, which is a little over an hour away. We rent a car. It would be a long Uber ride and honestly it just doesn’t seem realistic with the 5 of us and all of our luggage. It's really a pretty drive, so much lush green, mountains, sunshine. I was really soaking it up this time. 

This year we stopped at this little hole in the wall cheesesteak place that we found on my phone. It got great reviews so we opted to give it a shot. It was the best cheesesteak I've ever eaten and this girl loves her cheesesteak! Though with recent changes to my diet, I haven't had one in SO long. Maybe that's another reason I really loved it. Ryan and I both got different ones and loved them. The kids got cold cut sandwiches, lame! However after a long travel day, we started at 330 am, we opted to just let it be. Boy did they miss out! 

The first afternoon at camp is a lot of reuniting with old friends and making new friends. There’s no quicker place to make friends than right at camp! I can’t even explain how quickly friendships are formed or how they build over the years and through miles across the country. This picture is of "old friends" reuniting, or more like, the little girls sucked Keegan into kayaking the minute the waterfront was open!

These strangers become family by the end of the 3 ½ days. You come to know information that may not be shared with others. You hear about their story, the way their child’s limb difference occurred, their feelings behind finding out, the difficult experiences they’ve been through, the accomplishments, the fears, the way others react, how they advocate for their child…. The list goes on. I told my nursing students that I wish they could learn from the way these parents advocate for their children. I'm almost amazed when I leave camp at how sad I am to say good-bye. The photo below is new friends that were made instantly!

Due to our travel, we arrived right before waterfront activities. Lots of bonding occurs on that rocky shore, among kids, among adults, among volunteers and families... it's endless, honestly. Watching the kids go from barely knowing some of the campers to swimming together, jumping in the water holding hands, kayaking, canoeing, building rock forms and this year painting rocks!

I didn't get many pictures of "Rubber Pig Baseball" but I did happen to grab a couple. I'm not sure why it's called rubber pig baseball considering I only ever saw a rubber chicken! Either way, it was a blast.Fun was had by all! 

 We finished the night with S'mores by the campfire. The fire happens RIGHT on the rocky shore overlooking the water. It's so relaxing and refreshing.

I think everyone really likes the S'Mores considering my kids
kept asking if they could have more! The great thing is that we all come together again and teamwork makes the dream work. The volunteers, teens and adults just  all pitch in to help with all of the kids. It literally is a village of people that cares about you and your family. There's not a better reminder than the first day back at Camp No Limits!

CAMP NO LIMITS all booked!

This picture was taken just last weekend while we were camping. Bella and I were walking around the camp ground just the girls. Dirty from camping all weekend, hiking, biking and exploring... BUT living our best life, in nature, with the ones we love.

Camping is one of our favorite things to do in the spring, summer and fall. It means disconnecting from life, phones, electronics. It means building bonds and making memories. That's what summer vacation is all about in my eyes.

Summer last year meant exploring Camp No Limits Idaho for the first time. We've explored others but we fell deeply in love with Idaho, the people, the location, the rustic cabins. Don't get me wrong, we LOVE Camp No Limits and every single location we've attended. Idaho camp just felt like we had found our home. While I totally realize that it's NOT a location for everyone, it was the prime location for us. It's rustic, like really rustic. We were "warned" if you will by other families and staff and I swore it was right up our alley. We got some side eyes and some laughs. Really though, it was. I barely got cell service, yay me! I was able to really focus on connecting with my kids, the other families there. One of my favorite pictures is a picture of a sibling at camp that's slathered in sunscreen that's not fully rubbed in. It was the first camp that we left that Bella cried, like body shaking cries.

We saw old friends and we made plenty of new friends. We literally can't wait to go back. We are counting down! Tickets were purchased, application was accepted... now to book a car rental and we are good to go! A little over a month to go, but who's counting? Oh that's right WE ARE!!

Share the strep... or not!

Poor little lover girl has strep throat. We had a birthday party at our house for Grayson a couple of weeks ago and I'm thinking some little first grader shared strep with us. I got it first, then Luca, now Bella. That's the joy of having kids, they share mostly when you don't want them too!

Luckily for me, I have a great job with more flexibility than I've ever had. I don't teach a class on Monday's and I work from home on Mondays, which allows me to balance the day with laundry, the gym, emails, changing my course and yesterday, taking care of a sick kiddo. When people are sick, I tend to do more laundry, even if its not a puke bug... blankets get washed, sheets get changed, new toothbrushes for everyone!

Luckier for all of us is that we have some fabulous neighbors who help out more than I can mention. Seriously, from getting kids on and off the bus, to offering to take my sick kid for the day. They are like a second set of parents to our kids. I honestly don't know what we would do without them. When they say it takes a village, they truly mean it! I can't tell you how thankful I am to have found our village here!

"That's why I love camp!"

After our incident at school this week, we had a little chat about kids and perceptions. We also talked about how younger kids are really curious and just trying to learn and figure things out. Bigger kids might not be used to someone with a limb difference.

 Bella talked about how there's a little kindergarten friend at school that always shows everyone her hand. She said "Mom he has hearing aids and doesn't realize that he has something different about him too. I told him Henry* my hand is different, just like your hearing aids are different. That's what makes us special, that we all have differences. Mom he still shows everyone about my hand but I just laugh."

"That's why I love camp! Everyone there has a limb difference or has a kid or a brother or sister with a limb difference so it's like no big deal. No one cares that you have a limb difference, you are just accepted exactly the way that you. I love it!"

"Yeah that is the great thing about camp, everyone is there to love you and teach you things and no one cares at all that we are all different."

"I know that's why it's so great, I'll always go to camp, no matter what!"

This is exactly why we go to Camp No Limits! While we work hard to get scholarships and raise funds to go to camp, we also spend a fair amount of money of our own on airfare and transportation. Her comments alone are worth every single penny that we spend. Camp is an investment for ALL of us! If you or someone you know would like to help us get to camp, you can donate here. We appreciate any all donations, no matter if it's 50 cents or 50 dollars, we appreciate everything that helps us attend camp!

Through CNL I've met friends that will be lifelong friends, I've met advocates, I've met therapists and other kids, siblings and parents that have changed my life in a variety of ways. I agree with Bella. Camp is great. No one cares about your limb difference, no one cares that you are different, they love and embrace you just the same. They also love and embrace us ALL!


*name changed for privacy

Just say no

Remember D.A.R.E from 5th grade? Yeah I sure do. I took a lot of lessons from those sessions but I think I missed one. I must've missed the "just say no" part. I've completely and utterly overextended myself yet again. I mean who can't work full-time, be the PFC co-president, volunteer to do the kids class parties, teach a new class, maintain (or better yet grow) a marriage, keep three kids alive, and a dog, and four chickens, workout, eat healthy, try to be a better me for me, have good relationships with my kids, grow friendships, cultivate old friendships, keep up with emails, write agendas for meetings, organize camping trips, go camping then unpack from said trips, maintain a house, pay bills on time, grocery shop... I mean you get it, right?

This train wreck has pulled into the station and is taking a long, hard look at life. The "just say no" part of D.A.R.E was SO important, how come they only apply it to drugs and alcohol? Maybe they should have a refresher in college, when you are married, then again when you have kids... just saying! Today, I'm reevaluating.

What are my goals to be a better me? A better me means doing all of the things that I love too and not forgetting those in the shuffle. Part of being a better me means working out, giving attention to my kids, growing my marriage, helping friendships continue to grow... I have a big agenda and it's not getting smaller any time soon. For me, I'm going to start focusing on saying no instead of maybe, instead of yes, instead of let me think about it. Not because I WANT to say no, but because I NEED to say no... for me, for you, for everyone I love and adore.

Trust me, no one will die in the process of me saying no. No one will die if I don't do ALL of the class parties. My students will survive with me giving my all and cutting that all off by 10 pm. They need me sane as well as prepared. Lack of sleep leaves me unprepared and not sane, that's for sure. The junk mail, the junk emails, they can wait. The pile of papers by the door, that can wait too. The deep cleaning that I really want to do because it makes ME feel good, it'll have to wait.

There will be bumps along this road but I'm done overextending me. I'm doing what I need to do for me. Part of that includes increasing my water intake... simple yet forgotten. Part of that includes working out, lifting heavier weights and working out for less time. Part of that means sitting by the campfire to soak in the stars with my family.

Yes, this blog is about Bella. Ultimately, this blog is meant to help parents, women, mamas, working mamas... it's meant to help whoever it needs to help. Today, I'm hoping it helps you. Take a lesson from this mama, just say no. It's okay, I promise.

Camp No Limits- Day Two

I swear, each day of Camp No Limits gets better. You never want it to end. What's not to love? There are tons of new friends, some old friends, kayaking, paddle boarding, eating, crafts, games, swimming, exploring, learning, endless support... Yep, every single minute I love.

Each morning starts the same at camp. Breakfast around 8 am for about an hour then energizers. Energizers are energizing! You dance and laugh to start the day, do some core work, do some stretching, seriously we should start every day like this. It always brings a smile to your face.

After energizers, we break into groups. PT, OT, and sibling groups are the first groups of the day. Usually the upper extremity groups works on some life skills, like shoe tying, braids, pony tails, buttons, zippers, socks... I know the lower extremity groups work on running but I'm not sure what else since I'm usually hanging with Bella in the upper extremity group. This year at camp, Bella taught a girl, J., a tad bit older that has two hands, how to tie a shoe with one hand. J was more than attentive and really interested in Bella teaching her. It was so sweet to watch them both. Bella's passion about teaching and sharing how she does things. J focusing and determined to learn while being kind and warm to Bella.

Sibling groups are super fun, just ask our boys! They went kayaking, paddle boarding and who knows what else. I do know that the boys come back and really want to go back with the sibling group. They love every moment of sibling group!

After this is lunch, then peer support group. Again, siblings go off and do one thing. "Campers" like Bella go to a support group that us parents are allowed to attend. Parents go to another support group.  This is super helpful for all parents and it also helps you get to know the other parents. This year, I learned a ton from parent support group about prosthetic costs and such. I feel like every single person in the group is valuable and brings more to the group.

Next up for Idaho Camp No Limits, changing and water front! The waterfront is super rocky. They did say on the website that water shoes would be helpful and I almost laughed outloud. Water shoes and fanny packs go in the same category... seriously people, I'm so glad I bought some. The waterfront is super rocky and would have been pretty painful without water shoes. Mine were super cute too... or not... I mean can water shoes be cute? 

Bella also got one on one swimming lessons from Travis, he's an incredible dude! Bella ran down the hill earlier in the day yelling "Daddy" and it was actually Travis. They both have dark hair, big beards, board shorts and are built similar. She got all the way to him before she realized he wasn't her Dad! I knew from further up the hill but let her get all the way there. It was hilarious! Back to the swim lessons, Travis was a swim instructor for many, many years and he spent a chunk of time really helping Bella. What a great dude! 

Next up, changed, dinner then Human Clue. Apparently it's a Camp No Limits Idaho tradition. It was unforgettable. It was so fun and every single person that was involved had a great time. I didn't take a single picture because we were too busy trying to figure out which person committed the crime, where and with what. Super fun! 

The nights at all the different camps we've attended, ends in a campfire. CNL Idaho was just the same... except Mel melted all the marshmallows together so no one could eat them (JK Mel- we love you). Bella stayed up and we put the boys to bed. The beauty of the end of the night is that there are so many parents you've met that any number of them will watch after Bella so the boys can go to bed. There's also the "bigger" campers, like Sydney, Keagan, Jamie... and a number of others. Off to bed they went and she put some gooey marshmallows together and made a s'more. 

Day two did not disappoint, are you ready for what day three offered? 

Almost ready...

After stalking Scheck and Siress for weeks, I finally got a pre-approval letter in the mail from our insurance. When I called them on Wednesday, they still hadn't received the letter. Frustrating... so I faxed it over. I'm pretty sure that's what any mama bear when do when her baby bear has kept asking about it!

On Friday, Scheck and Siress called to verify that they also received the letter from insurance. The parts had been ordered and now we wait... We were told that once they were ordered they would be ready in 3-5 business days. What's a mom to do? Yes, call this coming Friday to follow up.

I did reach out to Camp No Limits friends to ask about the type of prosthetic. Being newbies to this whole thing, I wanted to be sure what they were ordering was really something that would be useful to Bella. I sent a text to Mary, CNL founder and director, and Keegan, one of the teen mentors who is one of Bella's buds (and mine too!). They were both able to verify that they thought it would work great for what we had in mind. Being able to quickly reach out to a trusted community is essential. I'm thankful that they both responded quickly! I'm beyond thankful to have them both in our lives.

Again, we wait. At least this time, we know exactly what we are waiting for and how long it SHOULD take... anything could change. I'll keep you all posted!

Moving

Yesterday Bella came home from school with news that one of her "best friends" was moving. This is a child that she's been friends with since kindergarten and he happens to be someone that is an incredible role model for all those around him. Bella's been lucky to have him on her side from the start of her formal education journey.

(Selfies from my phone!)

What's a mom to do? Well I promptly texted his mom to ask about it. Their details are their business but I will share that their are talks of them moving. My heart broke for Bella and for me. I like this family!

Bella said "I know you sent his mom a text, what did she say?" I simply said "they are talking about it but nothing is final yet so we'll have to wait and see"

Her words shocked me. Sometimes she's totally my child (hello eye rolling!) and sometimes, like this, I wonder where she came from.

"Mom, if Bill (name changed for privacy) moves, then I'll be sad. He's one of my best friends. But you know what? It would be a good opportunity for him to continue to grow and learn. I know he'll make lots of new friends. I know that we'll still talk and be friends too. It's a good opportunity for him, you know?"

I sat there in awe of my girl. So much wisdom in such a little lady. First off, where did she know and learn how to use the word "opportunity" appropriately? I sometimes have denial that she's growing up! I know she has wisdom well beyond her years. I also admire her for the ability to let her heart break a little and see the golden lining for her dear friend. I'm not sure I could be as strong as her if I tried.

My best friend lives in Kansas City, I'm an adult and can travel to see her and I still hate it every single day. No, like really, I hate it. We've maintained our friendship over many miles for many years. We got married within months of each other, we had babies close together, we are both working mamas with little to no time. You know what... when something is important to you, you make it happen. My friendship is important and it helps to maintain what little sanity I have left.

I know that Bella will keep Bill close to her heart whether or not he goes to her school. She admires his kindness, his ability to stick up for others, his dedication to sports and his ability to include everyone. I also know that as her mom, I'll work for her to maintain this friendship. My eyes fill with tears as I type this. Somehow, I'm part of raising this girl. Somehow, we've done something right. Somehow, she'll find the courage and the strength to support and encourage her friend even if it means some sadness for her. Somehow, I'll muster up the strength to help her through it.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mama's out there! (Better late than never right?!) This year, I actually got to spend part of mother's day with my mama! I was excited to say the least.

I didn't realize how much my parents really loved me until I became a parent myself. I remember Bella being born and it hitting me like a ton of bricks. How can I love this little person so much? How could I love her endlessly and unconditionally already? It's like your heart doubles in size the day you become a mother. I remember calling both of my parents and thanking them for loving me so much.

I was really lucky in the parent department. I was a difficult kid and teenager, at least in my own eyes. I made good grades, straight A's. I was hard on myself and I pushed myself to the brink. I would cause myself a fair amount of stress because I worked so hard and beat myself up when I scored less than 100%. My parents were supportive. They didn't pressure me to get 100%, instead they provided support, encouragement and guidance. I was emotional (heck, I'm still emotional). 

I never realized how difficult my parent's had it until I became a parent myself.


I can honestly say that my parents were there for me through the good times and the bad. I learned some hard lessons. I learned that I'm super type A and that I struggle because of that. I learned that through all of it, I could reach out and have those tough conversations with my parents. Nothing was every off limits for discussion. We have a very open relationship and talk about so much. I think this is highly important, especially as a teen.


How did my mom and I celebrate? We spent some time at a Royal's game on Friday night with friends and more family. I LOVE Royal's baseball. My love for the Brewer's has never come (sorry Milwaukee folks!) and I'm not sure it ever will. We went to some antique markets... which my mom is NOT a fan of but I'm pretty sure she had fun. She knows that's totally my thing and I love looking at all that "rusty shit" as she called it. She even fell in love with a $2,000 dresser, what can I say, she has expensive taste! We shopped and run around then spent Saturday night at Garth Brooks. Totally a bucket list thing. Shenandoah opened for him (old school country!) as well as an upcoming artist named Mitch Rossell. He was also amazing. Garth and Trisha though, out of this world. Garth played for 3 solid hours, 3 hours! It was insane and a blast. We sang every single song and only sat in our seats briefly. Super great concert with a weekend of memories to last a lifetime!

The one with...

I once had a friend that had a blog titled "The one with..." I was reminded of her blog today when we were hanging out and crafting... looking through old pictures of our babies. We started our blogs when our oldest, both girls, were teensy, weensy babies. Our girls are super close in age and have been around each other since they were tiny. We were lucky enough to have boys together at the same time too. I couldn't convince her to have a third. She's smarter than me! :)

Today we got to hang out, craft and catch up. Both of her kids are in school (see I told you she was smarter than me!) and Luca is still home. We talked about what's going on in life and what our latest Pinterest projects are, as if we truly have a ton of time. I worked on the kids baby books (better late than never!) and she worked on scrapbooking some of their amazing vacation. She's the kind of person you can see every day or not see for months and it's like you never missed a beat.

She's the kind of friend every woman needs. She lifts you up, she's supportive. You can tell her that you want to lock your kids in the closet and she laughs and doesn't call CPS. (Don't worry, I haven't actually ever locked them in there!) She reminds me that I'm not losing my mind completely. She supports my crazy projects, rejoices when they are successful and laughs when they aren't. She's the kind of person that you can talk to about anything or nothing at all. She doesn't judge me. I can go to her house unshowered, with my hair a wreck and no makeup and she doesn't run for the hills... Heck today I wore workout clothes and didn't even workout! 

We've embraced so many stages of life together. Cloth diapering, baby wearing, breast feeding, toddlers, threenagers, kindergarten (twice now!), our kids learning to read, sleeping through the night and utter lack of sleep, healthy eating and binge eating... As we both embrace these growing babes, our marriages, our work, I embrace my friendship with her. I'm thankful that 7 1/2 years ago I took a random exercise class at Babies R Us and we continued to connect. I'm thankful that we've remained friends all of these years. I'm thankful that she's that friend that I can always feel comfortable with and always feel happy when I'm around. Everyone deserves that friend, I'm lucky to have one!