Big emotional month

January can end, I'd like a do-over... This month has been rough. Our dog is sick, like really sick. Many of you follow me on Facebook and seen our saga. We got Luna when she was a pup and picked her because she laid in Bella's lap on her back with her legs up. I knew that moment that SHE was OUR dog! A week later, I found out I was pregnant with our second (now Grayson) and had a WTF are we doing moment! Bella was a solid year old, we were about to have a puppy AND now we were pregnant. What on earth were we thinking? We weren't... and 8 years later, it's clearly all worked out.

We picked her name because of a Jason Mraz song "Bella Luna". I loved the name Luna. Her middle name Claire is from San Diego where Ryan and I met. He lived near Claremont Mesa. Luna Claire it was and she became fully registered as a Zizzo.

What I didn't know is the immense amount of love a dog could bring to our lives. We always had outdoor dogs when I was little and Ryan didn't have dogs. We weren't outdoor dog kind of people so Luna has always been an inside dog. Luna greets you with a smile when you enter the door, for real, she smiles, ask anyone who's met her. She's full of endless love, never judges, rarely barks, never growls, always listens. She's tolerated babies crawling over her, babies laying on her, tons of hugs, lots of tummy and ear rubs. She's the most loving dog I've ever met. The kids have been raised with her.

She's been sick since just after the first of the year. We initially took her to the emergency vet for a fever and just acting off. We thought we were on the upswing and we were wrong. Back to our vet for more testing. New antibiotics, more waiting. Still a super sick, lethargic, sad looking girl. I've shed more tears then I care to count. Every time I look at her, I think of her laying on my chest when Luca was breech and just waiting patiently with me while I patiently waited for him to flip. I remember when she climbed into Bella's bouncy seat when Bella was a baby and looking over and laughing. Bouncy seats aren't just for babies, puppies love them too. 

Hug your puppies tight while we await the final results of Luna's labs. This sweet pup is straight from God, I'm sure of it. 

New Year, New Us!

The end of this year was mentally and emotionally exhausting when it came to this prosthetic thing. I've done a lot of video updates on Facebook because I just simply didn't have the energy to write a blog about the heartache. Then, just like that, magic happened.

RIGHT before the end of the year, I got a call from our prosthetist that he was 99% sure that we were going to get approval. Well, he was right! I called insurance to verify a couple of days later and was told the news from them. I had to pull myself together because I was driving and calling. It was emotional for sure. Those of you on Facebook, saw that emotional reaction a little bit later. I cried like a baby and the lady on the phone said "Isn't this good news?" When I explained what we had been through she was the sweetest mama on the other end. She mentioned she had 2 daughters and can't imagine having to wait on something like this and have it be out of her control. She had empathy and lots of it. It was like she was the person placed on that call for a reason.

I called Hanger to confirm with them that it was now in writing on our file. I was crying as I talked. The guy on the other end said "This is great news". I said I was crying happy tears. Yes I'm that woman! I cry when I'm mad and sad, angry, frustrated, happy, excited. Yeah I'm a mess :)

We picked up Bella's NEW prosthetic on December 26th! It was my mom's birthday too AND she and my step-dad got to share that with us. Thankfully because my mom took all of the pictures! It was better than Christmas and even Bella agreed. You guys, seriously, this is BIG! For a nine-year-old child to have such excitement and emotion about something like this was HUGE! She is a girl that is wise beyond her years with an old soul and she realizes things like this... Her face was BETTER and filled with more joy in the office than it was Christmas morning, I swear.

This is the only picture I took the entire visit! Yeah, I was soaking it all in! 

Here's the thing people, while this was an emotional rollercoaster for me, Bella didn't know any of that. She's nine. It's my job as her mama to protect her. She knew there was a wait because it was out of my control and that I was "working on it" but nothing more. I wrote the appeals, I called the insurance company almost daily since September when this process started. I cried at night after people went to bed. To have your child continually ask you "When is it coming? When can I use it again? How much longer?" was like knives stabbing my heart. I just wanted to make it happen yesterday! When it did, my heart was filled with so much joy watching her sweet little innocent face. 

I'll share our appeals letters with you here because you are welcome to tweak them to make them your own. Don't back down! Don't give up! Our kids depend on it! Our limb different and limb loss community depend on it! Show these insurance companies that this is important shit! Don't let them instill fear in you and IF or when they do, fight harder.