Just say no

Remember D.A.R.E from 5th grade? Yeah I sure do. I took a lot of lessons from those sessions but I think I missed one. I must've missed the "just say no" part. I've completely and utterly overextended myself yet again. I mean who can't work full-time, be the PFC co-president, volunteer to do the kids class parties, teach a new class, maintain (or better yet grow) a marriage, keep three kids alive, and a dog, and four chickens, workout, eat healthy, try to be a better me for me, have good relationships with my kids, grow friendships, cultivate old friendships, keep up with emails, write agendas for meetings, organize camping trips, go camping then unpack from said trips, maintain a house, pay bills on time, grocery shop... I mean you get it, right?

This train wreck has pulled into the station and is taking a long, hard look at life. The "just say no" part of D.A.R.E was SO important, how come they only apply it to drugs and alcohol? Maybe they should have a refresher in college, when you are married, then again when you have kids... just saying! Today, I'm reevaluating.

What are my goals to be a better me? A better me means doing all of the things that I love too and not forgetting those in the shuffle. Part of being a better me means working out, giving attention to my kids, growing my marriage, helping friendships continue to grow... I have a big agenda and it's not getting smaller any time soon. For me, I'm going to start focusing on saying no instead of maybe, instead of yes, instead of let me think about it. Not because I WANT to say no, but because I NEED to say no... for me, for you, for everyone I love and adore.

Trust me, no one will die in the process of me saying no. No one will die if I don't do ALL of the class parties. My students will survive with me giving my all and cutting that all off by 10 pm. They need me sane as well as prepared. Lack of sleep leaves me unprepared and not sane, that's for sure. The junk mail, the junk emails, they can wait. The pile of papers by the door, that can wait too. The deep cleaning that I really want to do because it makes ME feel good, it'll have to wait.

There will be bumps along this road but I'm done overextending me. I'm doing what I need to do for me. Part of that includes increasing my water intake... simple yet forgotten. Part of that includes working out, lifting heavier weights and working out for less time. Part of that means sitting by the campfire to soak in the stars with my family.

Yes, this blog is about Bella. Ultimately, this blog is meant to help parents, women, mamas, working mamas... it's meant to help whoever it needs to help. Today, I'm hoping it helps you. Take a lesson from this mama, just say no. It's okay, I promise.

Finding Joy

Does anyone else follow Finding Joy on Facebook? On June 18th she wrote this:

I don't want to rush through life anymore.

I realized I was a rusher several months ago. It was when I was drying my hair and I had this moment where I saw that I was racing through it. Getting agitated it took too long. And I stepped back and thought about how I had nowhere to go that day and no deadlines and yet there I was rushing.

I have taught my rushing culture to my kids too.

Sometimes in the mornings I'll be in a frenzy racing around and thinking about what to do next and totally missing out in the now. I'll lose patience for shoe tying or missing bags or being late for a line that I would end up sitting in no matter what.

So several months ago I decided to become aware of my rushing. And to catch myself in those moments and to actually take a big breath and to remind myself that rushing changes nothing.

Rushing just made me anxious.

So now, now I try to slow my pace. Being aware of the time but also my pulse. 

If we race through life too fast or looking ahead too much we might just miss today.

And today, my friends, is worth not rushing through.

-Rachel

If you don't typically follow her or read her posts, do it. Do it now, run over there and follow and like her page. She inspires me every day to be a better me, to take care of me too, to not fall into the Pinterest trap, to settle down, to live and let love takeover. 

This post rang oh so true. I'm such a rusher, which makes me a stressor. My kids move at sloth's pace. 

I get agitated and anxious when things take too long. I'm a total Type A-er. Wait is that even a word? This summer I've been trying to take the kids to do fun stuff and it hit me. I'm yelling "HURRY UP, GET IN THE CAR!!!!" I'm pretty sure even the lady down the street got in the car at that point! :) No in all seriousness, I was rushing them to go have fun. In the process, crushing their fun and causing chaos and anger for all of us. How was this fun? Would even be fun? I mean why was I rushing them and causing all of this? I wanted to just hurry up and go. It's not the fun would suddenly stop if we were 10 minutes later. 

After reading Rachel's post, I'm more aware. Yes there are times we need to be in a rush, we have doctor appointments or someone waiting on us. Otherwise, rushing was causing me more problems. I'm working on it, like really working on it. There are things that need to done right.this.minute... but the other things, we'll get to, eventually, like most things in life. 

As for me, I'm feeling a little more relaxed about the whole thing. I'm really focusing on it more and trying to improve for them and mostly for me.

Float Milwaukee Review

Sweet baby Jesus! Where do I begin? I’ve wanted to try floating for some time and it was never a priority until I won a float. A free float? Well that certainly makes it a priority!

I arrived and parked in a gravel lot across the street (free parking). I took off my shoes, put on the sandals they had and was greeted right away. I signed a waiver while they were finishing the filtration on the pod.

Once you enter into the hallway, it feels very much like a spa. It smells clean, the inside was clean and the colors were neutral and calming. The young man working showed me around and then took me to room 5 where I would see my “floating” pool. *Cue to angels singing* I was given the full rundown on how things were, how to control the light, the noise, where the panic button was located, etc. He explained to shower prior to entering and then rinse off after. He gave me a very good rundown on everything and I felt like I was very informed.

(I'm in love with that art work!)

I opted to float in the open pool when I made my appointment. I’m admittedly a little claustrophobic so I wasn’t sure the pod would be for me. I’m happy with my selection.

The young man left and the magic started. I put in the silicone ear plugs. They don’t block the sound, they simply help to keep the water out of your ears. He suggested I try them as not to distract from the floating experience and I’m glad I did. He also suggested I use the ring for your head just to be sure that my neck would fully relax. I took a shower and got in the pool in my birthday suit.

I wish I could fully describe what happened next but it’s impossible. I put the ring behind my head and relaxed back. Instantly my butt popped up and my whole body was floating. I’ll be real, I wasn’t entirely convinced that I wouldn’t feel like I needed to use my muscles to “float”. Let me tell you, you DO completely float, there’s no work on the part of your body at all. It took a few minutes for me to get situated. My mind raced, I futzed with the position of my legs and arms but what I was doing didn’t feel natural so I just took some deep breaths and relaxed into the pool.

That’s when the real magic went down. I closed my eyes and my hands instantly wanted to be palm up and straight out from my body, my legs naturally fell apart a bit and my toes relaxed. Occasionally I opened my eyes to look around and I would be in a different position than I started. I had no clue that I was just floating around in circles in there! I continued to relax and was awoken by what sounded like a door bell. I opened my eyes briefly and then closed them again. A few minutes later, another door bell…. NOOOO, I didn’t want it to be over!

I got out, showered off and then got dressed. I used the q-tips in the dressing room just to clean the extra water from the shower out of my ears. They have other products available there as well for cleaning up and getting ready. The two people working asked how it went and we talked about my experience and theirs as well.

Does it compare to a massage? Yes but no. My husband and I weren’t convinced that I would like it “better” than a massage. It’s a completely different experience. To me, I felt more relaxed and refreshed after and less exhausted. Massages always make me want to be a bum for the rest of the day. After leaving the float, I felt energized. I also liked that it was quiet and dark, except the dim light of the pool (which I could have turned off) and the faint sound of meditating music.

Try it… today! Make it a priority, for real! I’ll be back, one float wasn’t nearly enough!