KonMarie and Sparking Joy

I just finished reading this book... well when I say just, I mean last weekend. I read it on a Friday evening (real exciting Friday nights at our house!) in less than 2 hours. It was a quick easy read.

Last Saturday morning, I pulled ALL of my clothes out of my drawers, my closet, the hall closet, everywhere and started the process. Step one is clothes. Marie Kondo says to empty everything out and I did just that. She says to hold each item and determines if it "sparks joy" or not. If it does, keep it. If it doesn't, it goes. She also says to think about what you are KEEPING and to not think about "giving items away".... It might sound nuts or crazy but it worked. Before I used to purge and think "but I paid X for this" or "But this still has the tags on it" or "maybe someday I'll wear this"... heres the thing, I didn't wear it. It stayed in my closet or my drawers with the tags on. My closet was busting at the seems and my drawers were overflowing.

Let's talk undergarments. I had bras and underwear from pre-kids... my body has changed, boy has it changed! Why was I keeping stuff that wasn't comfortable, that I never wore, that didn't fit at all? I'll tell you why, because I had already paid for it, I felt like why get rid of it. This time, I thought "Do I feel good when I wear this?" "Does it make me happy?" "Does it really spark joy?"... there were so many no's. I filled two target bags with undergarments and tossed them directly in our outside garbage without a second thought. It felt GREAT! It was so freeing!

Next came clothes. Did it fit? If it was no, away it went. Was it comfortable? Again, no, away it went. Did it make me feel good when I wore it? If it was a no, it was a goner. Did it bring me happiness/joy? If no, gone! I took each item and addressed each question. If there was a single no to any of those, it was gone. After that, I hung each item up or folded each item and put it away.

Next up, jewelry. Yes it all fit, don't worry :) Did I like it? Did it bring me joy/happiness? Then I went through and matched my jewelry with the clothes I kept and put it on the hanger with the dress/top so it was all set when I was ready to go. That brought me so much joy, like a ridiculous amount. It's been so nice to pull something out and have the jewelry all ready to go with the dress/outfit. It makes mornings so much easier!

Why am I sharing this? As a women and a mom, there are struggles I face daily. My happiness shouldn't be one of them. I should wake up and feel good when I put my clothes on. I should feel happy when I look in my closet or my drawers, not sadness for what doesn't fit or what doesn't feel good. I don't want to spend my day digging underwear out of my butt because they are uncomfortable. True fact! Now I don't have to!

This may seem silly to you, which is a-okay. You do you! I'll do me! Doing me, means purging for once and for all. It means only living with things that bring me happiness. It means surrounding my world with things I love. I'm working to do that. I want my kids to have a happy mom. I want to have less stress and I think this path will get me there.

Next up, books! (On a side note, I didn't buy that book, I got it from the library. Library= free. It also means not having a book that I'll never read again! Free and less stuff= more happiness)

Would you do it?

Today, Luca and I went to the Barnes and Nobles story time. There were a bunch of littles there with their parents or caregivers, most were much younger than Luca. I noticed a little guy that was born with no legs and shortened arms, no elbows. I glanced their way and smiled several times.

Instead of focusing on story time, my brain was racing a million miles a minute. It's always do you approach and say something or not... if you DO approach WHAT do you say? "so cool, my daughter was born with a missing hand?" Um no... "Hi I'm Sarah and I'm super passionate about limb differences" Um hello creep! "You were born like my daughter Bella" Nope not true, they are different... ugh. I struggled. Do I say something and what do I say? Will I seem like a creep? Or will the person with this little guy find it helpful? I spent almost 45 minutes debating what to do.

Then I reminded myself, I was once in the shoes of this little guys parents. Though different, very similar. There was a time when I had NO resources, when I knew NO other families of children with limb differences, when I didn't know how to teach my daughter to crawl, tie her shoes or even where she would wear her wedding ring... There was once a time I felt alone in my feelings, that I felt that I had something to do with her difference. I'm sure this kiddos parents wondered many things too. If they are like me, there are still things they wonder.

I grabbed my business card and wrote down a few things on the back: Camp No Limits, Lucky Fin Project, Joshua K_____. On the front, I added my cell phone. I held it close and still thought, how?

Then I said, whatever, I'm going for it. So I approached the person with the little guy and said something like "Hi I'm Sarah, my daughter was born without her left hand and I wanted to give you some resources that might help." She smiled and thanked me saying "I'm not his mom so I'll pass it along." She explained that she was a friend helping. She also said "Most people don't even smile at us". I bent down and said "Hi I'm Sarah, my daughter was born without her hand and I was giving your friend some stuff to share with your parents that you might like. How old are you?" I reached out my hand to shake his hand and he reached out one of his arms and I shook his nub. The little boy said he was 4. I said "My son, I'm here with is 4 too! Do you start kindergarten in the fall?" He was quiet and a little shy. I spoke with them a few minutes and I explained to the friend what each resource was and said to please feel free to have his parents call me if they have any questions or I can help in any way. She thanked me...

It wasn't awkward at all after the interaction started. Maybe they'll never call. Maybe they have all of these resources... but what if, what if they don't. What if ONE of those things can be helpful to them? I'll tell you what if... if it is, I've done my job as a mama and an advocate.