Bike victory!

Like I said in this post every day is a new day. We went on a play date yesterday and there was a strider bike that Bella decided she wanted to try.

"Mom, this isn't that hard!" I smiled and watched.

"Mom, we should take the training wheels off of my bike." We had a little conversation about how she first needed to work on her confidence and comfort so that bike riding was fun. Once that happened, we'll take the training wheels off.

Last night when we got home, Bella wanted to go on a bike ride. The boys were losing their minds one at a time so I opted to stay with them and have Ryan and Bella go. She came bursting into the house when they returned

"MOM, come watch me! Watch HOW FAST I CAN GO!" she was beyond excited. Fast for her is different than fast for Luca (his whole life is at a high speed level!)

I went outside and watched, I videoed and took pictures. I told her how proud I was of her. She talked about how she felt confident and comfortable.

"Mom, I'm getting WAY better at this. I feel so good riding my bike. It's fun and I feel comfortable now!" I was proud. I was proud that she had initiated bike riding, that she initiated speeding up a little, that she didn't get off and pull her bike... that she persevered and kept going.

Proud mama moment, proud daddy moment and most importantly, she was proud of herself!

Bike battles

Each day brings different challenges and battles for each of us. Each day is a new day, we can decide to pick ourselves up and carry on or to sulk. Today, Bella decided she was going to feel sorry for herself. Everything was wrong.

The boys rode too close.

The boys rode too far.

Daddy pushed her too hard.

Daddy told her to go faster.

Daddy gave her encouragement.

Daddy didn't give her enough encouragement.

The bike seat was up to high.

The bike seat was too low.

The bike basket was bumping around.

Her training wheels were too wobbly.

I adjusted her training wheels too much.

Life sucked big time. The bike sucked big time. We all sucked big time. Today was not her day... we'll try again tomorrow.

Face your fears

Earlier today I mentioned going a  bike ride. There was lots of excitement and everyone agreed. Should I mention that riding bikes with kids is like waiting for a train wreck to happen? No, really. Usually there's crying, screaming, crashing, cuts, bumps, bruises, more crying and frustration by all parties involved. Imagine all that times three...

One example: riding down the street... 

Kid one- crashes into a grass ditch and refuses to get back on the bike.

Kid two- is actually pulling their bike and not riding at all

Kid three- driving around like a wild drunk, crashing and doing it again... faster

(Pre-bike ride today, super excited, can you tell?!)

That sounds fun, right? Come on, doesn't it make you want to bike ride every day? Yeah, me neither. So for awhile, when we biked, I walked.... while ONE kid rode. This saved us all a little sanity. That can only last for so long though, so tonight I offered while praying to Calgon, God, Buddha, and anyone else that might be listening. 

Bella was SO excited, then I made her grab her new sports on with the bike attachment. Then she cried. 

"Mom, I do not want to do this. You are SO mean. Why are you forcing me to do this? You never listen to what I want. You are the worst mom ever. I don't even want this thing (pointing to the prosthetic). I never even asked for a bike hand. You wanted that, not me. I ONLY wanted the one for tumbling. UGH! I'm not going"

"Uh yeah you are. I'm sorry that you are not happy but you are trying this. I'll be right there to help you but you are wearing the prosthetic for ONE block."

More tears and frustration. "FINE but ONLY for ONE block!" 

"Sounds good!" she doesn't get a choice to brush her teeth or comb her hair because as her mother, I know best. She was not getting a choice about at least entertaining the option of trying the bike hand for one block. It's not like I was asking her for something crazy. It was completely reasonable and how would she know if she liked it or not if she didn't give it a chance.

Away the boys, Bella and I went down the street. Fifteen minutes later, we were three houses away. Yes that was NOT a typo, three houses people... HOUSES, not blocks! Bella was barely pedaling. The boys... see what I said earlier, they are those kids! I kept encouraging and giving support.

"You've got this Bella!"

"Good job pedaling, use your strong legs!"

"Go girl"

"You've got this!! Keep going!"

"Look at you! Nice work pedaling! You are doing great!"

"Keep it going sister!"

"Deep breath in and deep breath out, keep trying"

"Mom, I'm trying. I'm facing my fears. I'm really, really afraid. I'm scared I'm going to fall. I'm afraid, what if I fall? I'm trying hard mom. I'm breathing in and out. I can do this. I can try new things." She said to me and my heart took a hit. She was facing her fears of bike riding. She's unsteady even on training wheels. She's nervous and afraid. She needs a lot of encouragement. She was getting it. All that really mattered was that she was trying. 

About that time, her dad pedaling down the street on his bike! She was so excited. He rode up to the boys and stayed with them and would pedal back down by us. Slow and steady we were getting there. All of the boys in our crew were extra patient. 

At one point she asked to take off her prosthetic and I agree to let her at the end of the street. She didn't argue and kept going. At the end of the street, she stopped and asked if she could take it off. I helped her then stuck her prosthetic arm under my arm and we both rode off. About two turns of the pedal she piped up. 

"Mom I actually think it's easier with the prosthetic. Can you help me put it back on?" I did. I was actually happy that I had pushed it a little harder than she might have liked. She realized that it helped her be more steady. It helped her to have full control of the handle bars. 

Around the corner we went, slow and steady. We pedaled back in the driveway. I stopped to tell her how proud I was of her and that she did a really great job trying so hard. She really faced her fears and grabbed the bull by the horns. I shared with her that I was so proud that even though she was afraid, she still tried. That I was really proud of I told her, for trying! 

As we parked our bikes, she had one more thing to say...

"Mom tomorrow's my birthday. Do you think we could get me a new bike?" I simply smiled. We'll see!

We have a prosthetic!

When I say we, I mean Bella... I mean it's hers but it's ours too, especially mine since I've worked my tail off on this to make it happen and make it happen right. This girl has no idea and that's a-okay. Someday, she'll appreciate me even more... or I can hope.

Today, we drove to Scheck and Siress to pick up her FINAL prosthetic. She has a terminal device and two adaptations. This means nothing to you "non-prosthetic" people. It means everything to her. She's made me promise to keep it a secret and not post ANY pictures until she shows it off at Camp No Limits, which happens on Thursday. The suspense is killing me, I so badly want to share! My promise to my girl means more than that though, so you'll have to wait. You can call her to find out more :) She loves texting, FaceTime and snapchat... all via my phone of course!

(She started young)

Thursday, Camp No Limits Idaho happens. I'm dying inside to get on that plane and go. Camp is like Christmas for me. I get to reunite with people that I love and meet new people that I'll grow to love in just four short days. It's life changing every single time. My heart grows ten fold and it's one of the happiest four days of the year for me. I hope that my kids feel the same.

Be on the lookout for LOTS of updates coming soon. Maybe I'll see if Bella wants to blog about getting her hand. We can at least post for one to release on Thursday night after all the CNL friends have seen it first :)

Upper limb prosthetic friends, be sure to bring your attachments for your sports arms so she can check them out. I can't wait to see all that she learns this year. I wonder if she'll spend any time with us at all. Usually she wonders off with the girls and I see her on Sunday to pick her back up. The joys of camp!

(My how she's changed in a year!)

So yep, in her bag, all set to go are the prosthetic parts! I'm dying on the inside that we actually have them in our house! FINALLY!

Adaptive Bike Fair

Today, I'm pulling Bella from school a bit to attend Emery's Adaptive Bike Fair. Sometimes you have to treat things like this like they are as important as a doctor or dentist appointment. They don't happen every day... actually there's NEVER been one in the 7 1/2 years of Bella's life. I sent her to school in the morning, I'll pull her around 10:30 and we'll head down there. We'll spend some time with all of the kind folks who have donated their time and learn a thing (or ten!) on how we can help her.

Bella is SO nervous on the bike even with her training wheels. We tried to push her at Camp No Limits this summer to try and she was absolutely against it. Now that the weather has been nice here (what the heck, in February!) the boys have wanted to ride bikes. She rides along, usually screaming at me to slow down and not walk so fast. Yes, I said walk. Why do I walk? Have you ever tried to ride a bike with 3 kids? Luca likes to look at everything in site and occasionally run off into the grass or into a mailbox. Grayson speeds like a lightening bolt. Bella freaks out at EVERYONE to slow down... so yes I walk! Currently, it's far from enjoyable. It's like having someone throw balls at you and you are trying to dodge them but you can't, they just keep hitting you. What can I say? I'm honest!

See that stubborn face? 

So full of personality!

Date day with mom... and clearly a mind of her own!

I'm proud that she's stubborn and passionate. Really she comes by all of that naturally, Ryan and I are both stubborn and super passionate about things. So for her, she's passionate about NOT riding the bike! Which I totally get, not every kid is a bike rider. I'm A-okay with that. What I don't want it to be about her limb difference. I want her to ride her bike if she wants! I want her to feel confident in her ability to get on the bike and go IF SHE WANTS! If she doesn't want to, then that's fine. I want to her to know that I'm stubborn and passionate about helping her in any way that I can. This bike fair, is one of those things. 

Yes, I'm that mom. I'll pull my kid out of school for a life experience. To me, it's worth it. It's worth the couple short hours she'll miss. It's worth it to help her be successful in other ways besides in the classroom. It's important that I give her every possibility that others have already. I have no idea what it's like to go through life with only five fingers. I can only hope that when she's older that she'll realize we did everything we could to help her.