New Year, New Us!

The end of this year was mentally and emotionally exhausting when it came to this prosthetic thing. I've done a lot of video updates on Facebook because I just simply didn't have the energy to write a blog about the heartache. Then, just like that, magic happened.

RIGHT before the end of the year, I got a call from our prosthetist that he was 99% sure that we were going to get approval. Well, he was right! I called insurance to verify a couple of days later and was told the news from them. I had to pull myself together because I was driving and calling. It was emotional for sure. Those of you on Facebook, saw that emotional reaction a little bit later. I cried like a baby and the lady on the phone said "Isn't this good news?" When I explained what we had been through she was the sweetest mama on the other end. She mentioned she had 2 daughters and can't imagine having to wait on something like this and have it be out of her control. She had empathy and lots of it. It was like she was the person placed on that call for a reason.

I called Hanger to confirm with them that it was now in writing on our file. I was crying as I talked. The guy on the other end said "This is great news". I said I was crying happy tears. Yes I'm that woman! I cry when I'm mad and sad, angry, frustrated, happy, excited. Yeah I'm a mess :)

We picked up Bella's NEW prosthetic on December 26th! It was my mom's birthday too AND she and my step-dad got to share that with us. Thankfully because my mom took all of the pictures! It was better than Christmas and even Bella agreed. You guys, seriously, this is BIG! For a nine-year-old child to have such excitement and emotion about something like this was HUGE! She is a girl that is wise beyond her years with an old soul and she realizes things like this... Her face was BETTER and filled with more joy in the office than it was Christmas morning, I swear.

This is the only picture I took the entire visit! Yeah, I was soaking it all in! 

Here's the thing people, while this was an emotional rollercoaster for me, Bella didn't know any of that. She's nine. It's my job as her mama to protect her. She knew there was a wait because it was out of my control and that I was "working on it" but nothing more. I wrote the appeals, I called the insurance company almost daily since September when this process started. I cried at night after people went to bed. To have your child continually ask you "When is it coming? When can I use it again? How much longer?" was like knives stabbing my heart. I just wanted to make it happen yesterday! When it did, my heart was filled with so much joy watching her sweet little innocent face. 

I'll share our appeals letters with you here because you are welcome to tweak them to make them your own. Don't back down! Don't give up! Our kids depend on it! Our limb different and limb loss community depend on it! Show these insurance companies that this is important shit! Don't let them instill fear in you and IF or when they do, fight harder. 

Day one CNL Idaho!

When Mel said “it’s so rustric” she was SO right! Which is part of what draws us to this location. The little cabins, the rocky beach, the staff at the location, the boat rides, tubing, learning to swim, kayaking, hiking, the deck at Wells, the docks, the arch area… the snakes. Yep, I said it, this year I saw TWO snakes and thought that we might never come back to Camp Cross. I’m kidding, kind of. Snakes are NOT my friends.

You fly into Spokane and then make the trek over to Camp Cross, which is a little over an hour away. We rent a car. It would be a long Uber ride and honestly it just doesn’t seem realistic with the 5 of us and all of our luggage. It's really a pretty drive, so much lush green, mountains, sunshine. I was really soaking it up this time. 

This year we stopped at this little hole in the wall cheesesteak place that we found on my phone. It got great reviews so we opted to give it a shot. It was the best cheesesteak I've ever eaten and this girl loves her cheesesteak! Though with recent changes to my diet, I haven't had one in SO long. Maybe that's another reason I really loved it. Ryan and I both got different ones and loved them. The kids got cold cut sandwiches, lame! However after a long travel day, we started at 330 am, we opted to just let it be. Boy did they miss out! 

The first afternoon at camp is a lot of reuniting with old friends and making new friends. There’s no quicker place to make friends than right at camp! I can’t even explain how quickly friendships are formed or how they build over the years and through miles across the country. This picture is of "old friends" reuniting, or more like, the little girls sucked Keegan into kayaking the minute the waterfront was open!

These strangers become family by the end of the 3 ½ days. You come to know information that may not be shared with others. You hear about their story, the way their child’s limb difference occurred, their feelings behind finding out, the difficult experiences they’ve been through, the accomplishments, the fears, the way others react, how they advocate for their child…. The list goes on. I told my nursing students that I wish they could learn from the way these parents advocate for their children. I'm almost amazed when I leave camp at how sad I am to say good-bye. The photo below is new friends that were made instantly!

Due to our travel, we arrived right before waterfront activities. Lots of bonding occurs on that rocky shore, among kids, among adults, among volunteers and families... it's endless, honestly. Watching the kids go from barely knowing some of the campers to swimming together, jumping in the water holding hands, kayaking, canoeing, building rock forms and this year painting rocks!

I didn't get many pictures of "Rubber Pig Baseball" but I did happen to grab a couple. I'm not sure why it's called rubber pig baseball considering I only ever saw a rubber chicken! Either way, it was a blast.Fun was had by all! 

 We finished the night with S'mores by the campfire. The fire happens RIGHT on the rocky shore overlooking the water. It's so relaxing and refreshing.

I think everyone really likes the S'Mores considering my kids
kept asking if they could have more! The great thing is that we all come together again and teamwork makes the dream work. The volunteers, teens and adults just  all pitch in to help with all of the kids. It literally is a village of people that cares about you and your family. There's not a better reminder than the first day back at Camp No Limits!

"That's why I love camp!"

After our incident at school this week, we had a little chat about kids and perceptions. We also talked about how younger kids are really curious and just trying to learn and figure things out. Bigger kids might not be used to someone with a limb difference.

 Bella talked about how there's a little kindergarten friend at school that always shows everyone her hand. She said "Mom he has hearing aids and doesn't realize that he has something different about him too. I told him Henry* my hand is different, just like your hearing aids are different. That's what makes us special, that we all have differences. Mom he still shows everyone about my hand but I just laugh."

"That's why I love camp! Everyone there has a limb difference or has a kid or a brother or sister with a limb difference so it's like no big deal. No one cares that you have a limb difference, you are just accepted exactly the way that you. I love it!"

"Yeah that is the great thing about camp, everyone is there to love you and teach you things and no one cares at all that we are all different."

"I know that's why it's so great, I'll always go to camp, no matter what!"

This is exactly why we go to Camp No Limits! While we work hard to get scholarships and raise funds to go to camp, we also spend a fair amount of money of our own on airfare and transportation. Her comments alone are worth every single penny that we spend. Camp is an investment for ALL of us! If you or someone you know would like to help us get to camp, you can donate here. We appreciate any all donations, no matter if it's 50 cents or 50 dollars, we appreciate everything that helps us attend camp!

Through CNL I've met friends that will be lifelong friends, I've met advocates, I've met therapists and other kids, siblings and parents that have changed my life in a variety of ways. I agree with Bella. Camp is great. No one cares about your limb difference, no one cares that you are different, they love and embrace you just the same. They also love and embrace us ALL!


*name changed for privacy

Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesday kicks off the season after Thanksgiving. According to the Giving Tuesday website, it kicks off the "charitable season of giving". This giving tuesday, I'm asking you to really think about the organization that you pick to donate... that is if you do. I'm asking you to give mindfully not mindlessly. Many organizations take our money and very little goes to the actual cause. It bothers me to think that money I have given in years passed does not 100% go to the cause I am supporting. 

The organization that means the most to our family today and every day is Camp No Limits. As many of you know, we attend camp every year. If we could attend every location, we would! But alas, work, school, life and finances for travel get in our way. Camp truly makes our year brighter. While we only attend once a year, the friendships that we make through camp last a lifetime. The support and love carry us through to the next time we attend camp. It's like having a family that supports you and lifts you up when you meet struggles. The kids and families that we meet through camp change our lives. 

I'm asking you to consider giving to Camp No Limits or give to our fund for travels to get to camp. Last year, it cost us over $3200 to get to camp, between airfare and rental car amongst other things. That said, it was worth every penny. I will continue to work my tail off every year to make camp a possibility for our family. Without the help of you and others like you, we would not have been able to attend camp. Last year, we received a scholarship to pay for camp and we only had to pay the $3200 to get there! That's a HUGE blessing! 

If Giving Tuesday is not your thing, no worries, I'll simply ask that you spread awareness. Spread awareness about Camp No Limits, spread awareness about limb differences, share our names with others so that I may help another family that is in our shoes, so that I can help them advocate for their child, so that I can be the support that they need, so that camp can be the family that they need, so that they can be aware of the many people that are in their shoes! 

Thank you for considering. Thank you for following our blog, for listening to our stories. 

Just say no

Remember D.A.R.E from 5th grade? Yeah I sure do. I took a lot of lessons from those sessions but I think I missed one. I must've missed the "just say no" part. I've completely and utterly overextended myself yet again. I mean who can't work full-time, be the PFC co-president, volunteer to do the kids class parties, teach a new class, maintain (or better yet grow) a marriage, keep three kids alive, and a dog, and four chickens, workout, eat healthy, try to be a better me for me, have good relationships with my kids, grow friendships, cultivate old friendships, keep up with emails, write agendas for meetings, organize camping trips, go camping then unpack from said trips, maintain a house, pay bills on time, grocery shop... I mean you get it, right?

This train wreck has pulled into the station and is taking a long, hard look at life. The "just say no" part of D.A.R.E was SO important, how come they only apply it to drugs and alcohol? Maybe they should have a refresher in college, when you are married, then again when you have kids... just saying! Today, I'm reevaluating.

What are my goals to be a better me? A better me means doing all of the things that I love too and not forgetting those in the shuffle. Part of being a better me means working out, giving attention to my kids, growing my marriage, helping friendships continue to grow... I have a big agenda and it's not getting smaller any time soon. For me, I'm going to start focusing on saying no instead of maybe, instead of yes, instead of let me think about it. Not because I WANT to say no, but because I NEED to say no... for me, for you, for everyone I love and adore.

Trust me, no one will die in the process of me saying no. No one will die if I don't do ALL of the class parties. My students will survive with me giving my all and cutting that all off by 10 pm. They need me sane as well as prepared. Lack of sleep leaves me unprepared and not sane, that's for sure. The junk mail, the junk emails, they can wait. The pile of papers by the door, that can wait too. The deep cleaning that I really want to do because it makes ME feel good, it'll have to wait.

There will be bumps along this road but I'm done overextending me. I'm doing what I need to do for me. Part of that includes increasing my water intake... simple yet forgotten. Part of that includes working out, lifting heavier weights and working out for less time. Part of that means sitting by the campfire to soak in the stars with my family.

Yes, this blog is about Bella. Ultimately, this blog is meant to help parents, women, mamas, working mamas... it's meant to help whoever it needs to help. Today, I'm hoping it helps you. Take a lesson from this mama, just say no. It's okay, I promise.

Back to school, already?

Our back to school list is posted. I've already done some shopping. I might be slightly obsessed with getting the best deals possible AND buying some extra. I can't believe it's time for back to school. Part of me loves the routine, part of me is dying that this means summer is coming to an end.

I keep seeing parents post on Facebook about back to school and supplies. I'll share with you our back to school list.

Parents are seriously complaining about "50 pencils?" and "15 glue sticks". Really? I mean I found a 24 pack of pencils for $1, buy three and you are well over your 50 mark. Have you had a kindergartener AND volunteered in the classroom? Holy glue sticks. Kids leave the caps off, glue dries out. They also use it every day for gluing word work, it's a lot of glue people!

Why do I care? I care because are you bringing your negative attitude home to your kids? What sort of excitement are you creating? I never once heard my parents complain about back to school shopping or school supplies, not once. Here's the thing, your attitude wears on your kids. The good and the bad. They are watching you.

(Obsessed with wolves and beyond thrilled about his wolf backpack!)

My mom especially brought TONS of excitement for back to school. She ahh'd and oooh'd over our supplies and how fun it was to get new stuff. She made the process of packing our backpacks fun. Maybe that's where my love of back to school comes. My mom even makes it fun for MY kids! She offered to take them to buy a new outfit, lunchbox and backpack. She's crazy :) I promise that my kids are excited to get a "date" with her. Date days are the best days.


How much have I spent? So far, about $10 on each kid. I'm almost done. I still have to get spiral notebooks. My advice, start early, watch sales, buy what's on sale then wait for other sales, get a little each week.

Why am I sharing this? I'm sharing because it doesn't have to be a big expense. However, I'm mostly sharing because as an educator myself, don't we want our kids to have plenty of all of the tools that they need to be successful? Don't we want to arm them to succeed? Do we want them to have to worry about too many broken pencils or not enough erasers? No, they are kids. Excite them about education. Be the one that pushes them to do their best. Be their biggest support and the most positive energy in their life.

At the end of the day, 50 pencils should be the least of your worries.

Pool friends

Happy Monday! The first day back from Camp No Limits is always a little let down. No friends knocking at your door. You aren't surrounded by your group of people that get you. Your circle is now back in their part of the world. You are left to fend for yourself. Today, I worked out and then took the kids swimming to get their mind off of the disappointment.

Bella instantly found a friend. Adrianna and Bella were both swimming around in the pool then started playing together. They were  playing in the pool, splashing, kicking, going under water, jumping in and then holding hands and jumping in. Adrianna asked Bella about her hand. I couldn't hear her but I could see her. I watched as Bella lifted her left hand above the water, showed her, they talked and then begin playing again. I watched as they sat on the side of the pool and Adrianna HELD BELLA'S LEFT HAND and they jumped in! It was so naturally, it happened so quickly. Then it happened again.

My mama heart melted. I had taken a break to sit at the side and boy am I glad I did. It allowed me to opportunity to watch this sweet moment happen. My heart was bursting with joy. I'm not sure if Bella's still on her camp high or what. I'm not sure if Adrianna just has a sweet old soul or what. I will tell you that I'm sorry I didn't take a moment to tell her dad about the moment I witnessed.

Life happens so quickly. I was in the moment. My phone was tucked away in my bag. Luca was on my lap and I was rubbing Grayson's belly as he sat next to me. I'm so glad this moment didn't pass me by. I'm glad I got to watch even if I couldn't hear.

Adrianna's dad, if you are out there, please reach out. I'd like to get our girl's together again. Pat your daughter on the back, commend her for being a curious little person that didn't offend my daughter, hug her tightly and know that you are raising her right. If you happen to know a fire fighter that works on the north side of Milwaukee with a daughter that is 8 and a son that's about 2 that was swimming at the WAC in Brookfield today, please have him reach out to me!

We have a prosthetic!

When I say we, I mean Bella... I mean it's hers but it's ours too, especially mine since I've worked my tail off on this to make it happen and make it happen right. This girl has no idea and that's a-okay. Someday, she'll appreciate me even more... or I can hope.

Today, we drove to Scheck and Siress to pick up her FINAL prosthetic. She has a terminal device and two adaptations. This means nothing to you "non-prosthetic" people. It means everything to her. She's made me promise to keep it a secret and not post ANY pictures until she shows it off at Camp No Limits, which happens on Thursday. The suspense is killing me, I so badly want to share! My promise to my girl means more than that though, so you'll have to wait. You can call her to find out more :) She loves texting, FaceTime and snapchat... all via my phone of course!

(She started young)

Thursday, Camp No Limits Idaho happens. I'm dying inside to get on that plane and go. Camp is like Christmas for me. I get to reunite with people that I love and meet new people that I'll grow to love in just four short days. It's life changing every single time. My heart grows ten fold and it's one of the happiest four days of the year for me. I hope that my kids feel the same.

Be on the lookout for LOTS of updates coming soon. Maybe I'll see if Bella wants to blog about getting her hand. We can at least post for one to release on Thursday night after all the CNL friends have seen it first :)

Upper limb prosthetic friends, be sure to bring your attachments for your sports arms so she can check them out. I can't wait to see all that she learns this year. I wonder if she'll spend any time with us at all. Usually she wonders off with the girls and I see her on Sunday to pick her back up. The joys of camp!

(My how she's changed in a year!)

So yep, in her bag, all set to go are the prosthetic parts! I'm dying on the inside that we actually have them in our house! FINALLY!

Life with Lemongrass

A big shout out to my dear friend, Steph! She did a facebook fundraising with her Lemongrass products and a portion of the proceeds went to Bella for Camp No Limits. She helped us raise $70.00! Thank you so much Steph! Steph reached out and asked if she could help us and we said yes... besides once we tried the products we were sold. The soap smells amazing and I've been using one of the scrubs daily. I love it!

Funds like this help us to get to camp. We will be using those funds to help with the rental car expense. It will help us get from the airport to the camp. All of the funds raised are put to use in one way or another. Some funds we use for flights, some we use for camp, some we use for rental car. They are all related to camp.

While our fundraiser has ended, lemongrass still has great products. You'll also be supporting a hard working mama. If you'd like to check out the Lemongrass products, do so on Steph's link here https://www.ourlemongrassspa.com/8498/shop/CATALOG.aspx

Until our next fundraiser, you can still help us get to camp! If you'd like to donate to getting us to camp, you can do so on paypal with the email sarahzizzo@hotmail.com