Just another day at the pool

Last week I took the kids to our typical pool location for an afternoon of sun and water fun. We were playing. Bella was practicing flipping in the water. Luca was showing off his flipping abilities and Grayson learned in two seconds flat. Me, I didn't even try! So she tried flipping for a solid 2 hours, I mean seriously 120 minutes people. No joke! She didn't quite master it but she was persistent!

While I was working with her, I noticed two girls about her age watching. Then I realized they were talking about her hand. Sometimes I want to go all mama bear, but I hold back. That day, I realized what they were doing and I wondered if she realized. I finally asked "Did you notice those girls looking at you? Maybe they know how to flip." She approached them, introduced herself and then they started playing.

Later, her and I were sitting poolside while her brothers played. I always walk the line... do I ask if she noticed or do I say nothing and pretend I didn't notice. I opted to ask. "Bella did you notice those girls you were playing with looking at your hand?"

"No, why?"

"I noticed and wondered if they said anything when you were playing with them."

"No, they didn't say anything. We just played."

"Does it bother you when people stare?"

"Sometimes but most of the time, they'll ask if they have a question. But, if they don't, that's on them."

"True fact sister boo!" I said as I hugged her tight. We continued our conversation about something completely unrelated to those girls.

I thought about it later though. How would I feel if I were Bella? Would I be as confident as she is? Would I be able to just look passed it and invite them to play? Would I even notice the stares? My sweet girl is a bigger, bolder, braver, more confident than I am. Where did she get that? How do I continue that as she grows? I build her up, that's how. I build me up, that's how. I remind her how kind she is, how she's always looking out for others, how caring she is to others. I remind her that I am SO very proud to be her mother and I'm so glad she's my daughter. I remind her that she's currently my favorite 9 year old on the planet and she's my favorite daughter. Yes, we laugh, because she's the ONLY 9 year old in our house and she's my ONLY daughter. I'm her favorite mother too :)

How do I build me up so that she knows that she can continue to be confident? Some days I run around in work out clothes after a gross workout. Guess what, don't care! I'm strong and I got a good workout even if I smell like locker room. Today I encouraged the kids to check out my "bulging biceps" to which Grayson responded "Your weakceps?".  I responded right back "You wish! This mama is STRONG!" As I flexed my biceps. Strong or not in the eyes of others, in my eyes, I'm strong  currently and I'm cool if others don't think that. I build myself up by feeling comfortable in heels and a dress or sweats and no bra. I remind Bella that it's most important to be yourself. I remind her that most of my friends now are "new friends" from the kids school and my closest friends remain in touch frequently. I remind her that it doesn't matter what the rest of her grade thinks of her, that it matters what SHE thinks of her.

How do you build up your kids? What works at your house? What can I learn from you?

Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesday kicks off the season after Thanksgiving. According to the Giving Tuesday website, it kicks off the "charitable season of giving". This giving tuesday, I'm asking you to really think about the organization that you pick to donate... that is if you do. I'm asking you to give mindfully not mindlessly. Many organizations take our money and very little goes to the actual cause. It bothers me to think that money I have given in years passed does not 100% go to the cause I am supporting. 

The organization that means the most to our family today and every day is Camp No Limits. As many of you know, we attend camp every year. If we could attend every location, we would! But alas, work, school, life and finances for travel get in our way. Camp truly makes our year brighter. While we only attend once a year, the friendships that we make through camp last a lifetime. The support and love carry us through to the next time we attend camp. It's like having a family that supports you and lifts you up when you meet struggles. The kids and families that we meet through camp change our lives. 

I'm asking you to consider giving to Camp No Limits or give to our fund for travels to get to camp. Last year, it cost us over $3200 to get to camp, between airfare and rental car amongst other things. That said, it was worth every penny. I will continue to work my tail off every year to make camp a possibility for our family. Without the help of you and others like you, we would not have been able to attend camp. Last year, we received a scholarship to pay for camp and we only had to pay the $3200 to get there! That's a HUGE blessing! 

If Giving Tuesday is not your thing, no worries, I'll simply ask that you spread awareness. Spread awareness about Camp No Limits, spread awareness about limb differences, share our names with others so that I may help another family that is in our shoes, so that I can help them advocate for their child, so that I can be the support that they need, so that camp can be the family that they need, so that they can be aware of the many people that are in their shoes! 

Thank you for considering. Thank you for following our blog, for listening to our stories. 

Just say no

Remember D.A.R.E from 5th grade? Yeah I sure do. I took a lot of lessons from those sessions but I think I missed one. I must've missed the "just say no" part. I've completely and utterly overextended myself yet again. I mean who can't work full-time, be the PFC co-president, volunteer to do the kids class parties, teach a new class, maintain (or better yet grow) a marriage, keep three kids alive, and a dog, and four chickens, workout, eat healthy, try to be a better me for me, have good relationships with my kids, grow friendships, cultivate old friendships, keep up with emails, write agendas for meetings, organize camping trips, go camping then unpack from said trips, maintain a house, pay bills on time, grocery shop... I mean you get it, right?

This train wreck has pulled into the station and is taking a long, hard look at life. The "just say no" part of D.A.R.E was SO important, how come they only apply it to drugs and alcohol? Maybe they should have a refresher in college, when you are married, then again when you have kids... just saying! Today, I'm reevaluating.

What are my goals to be a better me? A better me means doing all of the things that I love too and not forgetting those in the shuffle. Part of being a better me means working out, giving attention to my kids, growing my marriage, helping friendships continue to grow... I have a big agenda and it's not getting smaller any time soon. For me, I'm going to start focusing on saying no instead of maybe, instead of yes, instead of let me think about it. Not because I WANT to say no, but because I NEED to say no... for me, for you, for everyone I love and adore.

Trust me, no one will die in the process of me saying no. No one will die if I don't do ALL of the class parties. My students will survive with me giving my all and cutting that all off by 10 pm. They need me sane as well as prepared. Lack of sleep leaves me unprepared and not sane, that's for sure. The junk mail, the junk emails, they can wait. The pile of papers by the door, that can wait too. The deep cleaning that I really want to do because it makes ME feel good, it'll have to wait.

There will be bumps along this road but I'm done overextending me. I'm doing what I need to do for me. Part of that includes increasing my water intake... simple yet forgotten. Part of that includes working out, lifting heavier weights and working out for less time. Part of that means sitting by the campfire to soak in the stars with my family.

Yes, this blog is about Bella. Ultimately, this blog is meant to help parents, women, mamas, working mamas... it's meant to help whoever it needs to help. Today, I'm hoping it helps you. Take a lesson from this mama, just say no. It's okay, I promise.

Pool friends

Happy Monday! The first day back from Camp No Limits is always a little let down. No friends knocking at your door. You aren't surrounded by your group of people that get you. Your circle is now back in their part of the world. You are left to fend for yourself. Today, I worked out and then took the kids swimming to get their mind off of the disappointment.

Bella instantly found a friend. Adrianna and Bella were both swimming around in the pool then started playing together. They were  playing in the pool, splashing, kicking, going under water, jumping in and then holding hands and jumping in. Adrianna asked Bella about her hand. I couldn't hear her but I could see her. I watched as Bella lifted her left hand above the water, showed her, they talked and then begin playing again. I watched as they sat on the side of the pool and Adrianna HELD BELLA'S LEFT HAND and they jumped in! It was so naturally, it happened so quickly. Then it happened again.

My mama heart melted. I had taken a break to sit at the side and boy am I glad I did. It allowed me to opportunity to watch this sweet moment happen. My heart was bursting with joy. I'm not sure if Bella's still on her camp high or what. I'm not sure if Adrianna just has a sweet old soul or what. I will tell you that I'm sorry I didn't take a moment to tell her dad about the moment I witnessed.

Life happens so quickly. I was in the moment. My phone was tucked away in my bag. Luca was on my lap and I was rubbing Grayson's belly as he sat next to me. I'm so glad this moment didn't pass me by. I'm glad I got to watch even if I couldn't hear.

Adrianna's dad, if you are out there, please reach out. I'd like to get our girl's together again. Pat your daughter on the back, commend her for being a curious little person that didn't offend my daughter, hug her tightly and know that you are raising her right. If you happen to know a fire fighter that works on the north side of Milwaukee with a daughter that is 8 and a son that's about 2 that was swimming at the WAC in Brookfield today, please have him reach out to me!

We have a prosthetic!

When I say we, I mean Bella... I mean it's hers but it's ours too, especially mine since I've worked my tail off on this to make it happen and make it happen right. This girl has no idea and that's a-okay. Someday, she'll appreciate me even more... or I can hope.

Today, we drove to Scheck and Siress to pick up her FINAL prosthetic. She has a terminal device and two adaptations. This means nothing to you "non-prosthetic" people. It means everything to her. She's made me promise to keep it a secret and not post ANY pictures until she shows it off at Camp No Limits, which happens on Thursday. The suspense is killing me, I so badly want to share! My promise to my girl means more than that though, so you'll have to wait. You can call her to find out more :) She loves texting, FaceTime and snapchat... all via my phone of course!

(She started young)

Thursday, Camp No Limits Idaho happens. I'm dying inside to get on that plane and go. Camp is like Christmas for me. I get to reunite with people that I love and meet new people that I'll grow to love in just four short days. It's life changing every single time. My heart grows ten fold and it's one of the happiest four days of the year for me. I hope that my kids feel the same.

Be on the lookout for LOTS of updates coming soon. Maybe I'll see if Bella wants to blog about getting her hand. We can at least post for one to release on Thursday night after all the CNL friends have seen it first :)

Upper limb prosthetic friends, be sure to bring your attachments for your sports arms so she can check them out. I can't wait to see all that she learns this year. I wonder if she'll spend any time with us at all. Usually she wonders off with the girls and I see her on Sunday to pick her back up. The joys of camp!

(My how she's changed in a year!)

So yep, in her bag, all set to go are the prosthetic parts! I'm dying on the inside that we actually have them in our house! FINALLY!

Discover New Berlin

This weekend we went to the Discover New Berlin event at Eisenhower. I've never been and figured it's a free event right in our community so I should take advantage of the opportunity. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect but why not see if we can learn something new about the area where we most frequently are exploring.

The police and fire department were there. Ryan and I both learned about the crime report and how to get a copy directly to our emails each month. The fire department talked about how to put out a fire and we were able to demonstrate with a fire extinguisher. The fireman also discussed what fire extinguishers we should have in our home, where they should be located and how often they should be replaced. One thing I really found interesting is that some fires are caused by bathroom exhaust fans filling up with dust, dirt and whatever else. It made me think back to the last time I cleaned ours and that it's probably due again! Something I'll be doing today and should be done twice a year.

There were a variety of preschools there with information. This could be really helpful for someone looking into a preschool. For us, we have a GREAT in-home care and it's working well for our schedules. One thing I did notice is that many open at 7 am and close at 6 pm. While those may seem like great times for those working 9-5 jobs, that doesn't work for us. There is one day a week that we have to drop off at 615am due to our work schedules (I start at 6am that day and he starts at 7am and has a commute), so there wasn't an option there that would work for that early drop off. They did have some fun activities though that the kids REALLY enjoyed!

There were a few animals with JoDon farms. We had never heard of them but found them very helpful and kind. There was a sloth that we all got to pet! I've seen them in nature in Costa Rica but never up close. The caretaker of the sloth was very informed and genuinely seemed to adore the little sloth. She was talking to him and very sweet with him. They also had a large bunny and a baby emu. Interesting for sure! We'll be exploring their farm this summer and I'll give a full review then!

There were also a variety of businesses. Gyms, karate, tree trimming, hospitals, churches, insurance, girl scouts, summer camps, chiropractic care, etc. They also had a sign if they were hiring, which could be helpful if you were looking for employment. Many of them were hiring!

Why I am talking about stuff in our community in addition to being a parent? I often find that I go to blogs or various sites to figure out what to do with the kids for the day or where to explore. One of our favorite things in the summer is to explore different parks. There are a TON nearby that are great. Outdoor fun, fresh air, picnic lunches, playing, exercise, FREE, what more could one want? The kids LOVED trying out different parks all summer last year and are asking if we'll do it again. Of course! I'm hopeful that our blog will help others in our area to find some great places to explore too, while also continuing to raise awareness about raising funds for Camp No Limits AND awareness of limb differences and feelings.