On my agenda

It's on my agenda to make myself a shirt that says "Advocate like a mother". Really! Advocating is NOT for the weak. You need a big pair of....

All jokes aside, this whole prosthetic process can be really frustrating. REALLY frustrating! So yeah, I'm not backing down. I was chosen to be Bella's mother for a reason and I will advocate for her until she gets what she needs to be successful. 

After the kids got off to school today, I was having a moment. A moment of sulking, of missing babies at home, of homework struggles, of school struggles, bus struggles, missing my dad, struggling with my body, work struggles... just life was really feeling a bit rough. I was daydreaming about loading us all up in the camper and going on endless adventures. Lofty goals, I know. 

(camping earlier this summer)

In my moment, I decided I was going to call insurance just to ensure that they received the request. They haven't. That's a joke right? Wrong. They had nothing on file from anyone regarding a new prosthetic... ugh. 

 I have worked in the medical field for 16 years and nothing frustrates me more than the medical field. In all seriousness, it can be a like you are circling the drain waiting and worrying. I remember back to when my mom had cancer, they did all the testing then it was hurry up and wait. There's no waiting with cancer people, run those tests and let's kick ass and take names! Thankfully my mom did just that. What's a mama to do when she finds out that basically we are still sitting at square one. You call Hanger to find out what's the hold up. I did just that and they are sending things over to our pediatrician today. She will then write a prescription for the prosthetic. The funny thing about all of this is that our pediatrician has NO other patients with limb differences or amputations, just Bella... It's safe to say she's really educated on the whole thing *rolling my eyes*. Thankfully she's a really smart woman and will figure out what she can do to get Bella what she needs. I'll expect a phone call early next week from them. 

Now we wait... I hope your patience is better than mine! 

Finding Joy

Does anyone else follow Finding Joy on Facebook? On June 18th she wrote this:

I don't want to rush through life anymore.

I realized I was a rusher several months ago. It was when I was drying my hair and I had this moment where I saw that I was racing through it. Getting agitated it took too long. And I stepped back and thought about how I had nowhere to go that day and no deadlines and yet there I was rushing.

I have taught my rushing culture to my kids too.

Sometimes in the mornings I'll be in a frenzy racing around and thinking about what to do next and totally missing out in the now. I'll lose patience for shoe tying or missing bags or being late for a line that I would end up sitting in no matter what.

So several months ago I decided to become aware of my rushing. And to catch myself in those moments and to actually take a big breath and to remind myself that rushing changes nothing.

Rushing just made me anxious.

So now, now I try to slow my pace. Being aware of the time but also my pulse. 

If we race through life too fast or looking ahead too much we might just miss today.

And today, my friends, is worth not rushing through.

-Rachel

If you don't typically follow her or read her posts, do it. Do it now, run over there and follow and like her page. She inspires me every day to be a better me, to take care of me too, to not fall into the Pinterest trap, to settle down, to live and let love takeover. 

This post rang oh so true. I'm such a rusher, which makes me a stressor. My kids move at sloth's pace. 

I get agitated and anxious when things take too long. I'm a total Type A-er. Wait is that even a word? This summer I've been trying to take the kids to do fun stuff and it hit me. I'm yelling "HURRY UP, GET IN THE CAR!!!!" I'm pretty sure even the lady down the street got in the car at that point! :) No in all seriousness, I was rushing them to go have fun. In the process, crushing their fun and causing chaos and anger for all of us. How was this fun? Would even be fun? I mean why was I rushing them and causing all of this? I wanted to just hurry up and go. It's not the fun would suddenly stop if we were 10 minutes later. 

After reading Rachel's post, I'm more aware. Yes there are times we need to be in a rush, we have doctor appointments or someone waiting on us. Otherwise, rushing was causing me more problems. I'm working on it, like really working on it. There are things that need to done right.this.minute... but the other things, we'll get to, eventually, like most things in life. 

As for me, I'm feeling a little more relaxed about the whole thing. I'm really focusing on it more and trying to improve for them and mostly for me.