Thanksgiving came and went

It seems as though the days are whizzing by! I guess that's bound to happen when you have 3 little ones in your home. Our house is filled with lots of love and madness... and giggles and all of that other fun stuff that littles bring.

This year, we have so much to be thankful for. There's no way I could possibly list all of the things I am thankful for this year. It seems as if the list is endless. I want to reach out to all of you and tell you each how very thankful we are that you are in our lives. It means more to us than you know. We've encountered so many people that have welcomed us with open arms. I'm thankful for you welcoming us into your lives, into your hearts. I hope today and every day you have a tiny bit of time to think about all of the things that you are thankful for in your life.

New things on the horizon

Since Gary's bike ride for Bella, she's been asking for a "snapping hand" like Gary's. She doesn't know much about prosthetics other than the few that she's seen. Gary's being one of them and the only other one was at our Hanger Prosthetic appointment a few months ago. She didn't want a "plastic" hand and said it looked weird. Because it wasn't in use by someone, I think it was hard for her to understand how it could have been useful to her. Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe it just looked odd to her. She kept saying it just looked like a "baby doll hand", when I put myself in her shoes, that's exactly what it looked like except on a larger scale.

We were very lucky to have networked with Shriner's Hospital prior to Bella's birth and get into their system even though we have never utilized their services. We've been seen at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin up until now... By being seen, I mean we've gone there three times. Once when I was pregnant, once when Bella was first born and another time when she was complaining about pain to her nub where her thumb would have been. Even with insurance, it's expensive to go there and get services there. For our first visit, which included x-rays and being seen by an Ortho doctor, we paid over $200 out of pocket. At Shriner's, they bill your insurance and then their services are free. They will even transport you TO and FROM the hospital if you need transportation!

We have our first appointment at Shriner's scheduled for December 20th. Ryan, Bella and I will spend the day together, driving down to Chicago, being seen my one of their ortho/prosthetic specialists and then driving back. I'm hoping we have time to stop for a fun lunch date or something. I've heard appointments there are lengthy, 2-3 hours. So we'll pack plenty of snacks and things to do for Bella. Since this is a prosthetic appointment, we'll discuss options with them and hopefully Bella will get to SEE some of the options. I'm also hopeful that since that day there's a prosthetic clinic that she may get to meet some other kids like her and see some of their prosthetics in use.

When she verbalizes wanting another hand, she has given us specific uses for why she needs one. She wants to hold her baby dolls. She wants to be able to hold paper with one hand and cut paper with the other hand. She'd like to play with barbies with two hands. I'll be honest, it's heartbreaking to hear your four year old daughter talk about all the reasons two hands would be useful to her. I believe she is perfect as she is but I can sympathize with her in why she feels two hands would be beneficial. I have no idea how I would do many of the daily tasks that I do one handed. I would learn and adapt, just as she has. She teaches me so much about life and faces challenges head on. I'm hoping this appointment will help her and us to decide what will be best for her and start the process of getting a prosthetic.

I have many different emotions about this. She's my girl, my daughter, my first born. She teaches me about being a mother every single day. I love her just the way she is. It's my job as the strongest woman role model in her life to teach her to be confident and strong. To face challenges knowing that she'll overcome them or find a way to get through them. To teach her that being confident does not mean being cocky. To face bullies in a way that's caring, realizing that they may be bullying because they are unsure of themselves. To not back down, ever! I want her to realize and understand that she's perfect as she is, she can dye her hair if she wants, but the way she is, is just perfect. That her little sleepy hazel eyes are incredible, there's no need for them to be blue like mine or brown like daddy's. That she's not fat or skinny but that her body is just right for her.  Being a woman, presents its challenges. We are always more critical of ourselves. I want her to be confident and bold as a toddler, girl, teen and adult. I'm crying as I wrote this because the love she brings to my life makes me heart overflow. I'm sure anyone who has come in contact with her would agree that her laughter is contagious. I have big shoes to fill for this little girl but I'm up to the challenge!

Gary's Ride for Bella

What a success!! There were at least 63 bikers that came and registered and rode for Bella's Camp Fund. Here are how the events of the day played out...

All 5 of us showed up at the American Legion at 9:45 am. Bella and I sat at the registration table. She was a little celebrity. It was so cute, she sat there so big and shook hands with complete strangers. She thanked them for riding. She used her manners and was on her best behavior all day long. I am so proud that she does in fact listen to the things we tell her. Manners are important and on Saturday, it showed that she knew that. We helped with the raffle ticket purchases and kind of did a meet and greet with every one that came in.

Gary walked in the door of the hall and Grayson our shy little 2 year old ran up to him and hugged his leg. Bella calls him Grandpa Gary and she calls Kathy, Grandma Kathy. It's so adorable. We are the parents that want our kids to be able to love anyone they want. It's clear that they both love Gary and Kathy. They both feel loved and special to Gary and Kathy. Many of Gary's family members were there to help too. John, Sue, Kelly and Madison were close by all day.

Some riders left the Legion at 11 and others left later. Ryan took all three kids home for naps and I stuck around. I wanted to be as involved as I possibly could. I wanted to be able to personally thank those that I encountered. It's important to me that they understand how much our family appreciates their support. Riders started returning around 1:30pm. They were meeting and mingled with each other, enjoying food and drinks. I left around 4 to come home and help load up the troops to come back.

I walked in our front door and all three kids were in the living room to greet me. Bella said "I'm ready to go back there now mom and see my bikers". She was putting her shoes on and ready to race out of the door. It was clear that she really enjoyed being there and being part of the event.

We arrived back around 6pm. We pulled in and Bella said "Oh there are MY bikers" as if they all belonged to her. It made Ryan and I both laugh. We went in and Bella sat up shop at the raffle table like before. She shook hands with people, she hugged complete strangers, she smiled and used good manners to thank them for coming. I sat with her. Ryan and the boys mingled around.

At 7, Bella helped with the raffle. I announced the winners as she pulled the numbers. After all was said and done, I wanted to thank everyone for coming. I fought the tears, it was overwhelming. It was hard to hold it together to thank the many people that shared their day and a little piece of their life with us. I hoped they felt how grateful our family was to have them there. At the end of the night, Bella was sitting on Gary's lap asking him to show her how his prosthetic worked. He was so patient, showing her and answering her questions. It was a perfect end to an incredible day.

Just in case someone missed it, I'm hoping they are blog readers.

Gary and Kathy, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you! Thank you doesn't seem to be enough for all that you have done for our family. I truly feel like you will be a part of our lives and Bella's journey through life for the years to come. Our family feels a connection to you for not only for what you all have done for us, but for your kindness, your time, your sincerity in welcoming us to your lives.

To everyone that shared Saturday with us,
Thank you for spending your day to help our sweet baby girl. I know at 4 years old she can't fully understand why you all were there. What she did understand was that you were there to help her get to camp, you treated her so kindly, you shook her hand, you hugged her, you giggled with her. You treated her like she was on a pedestal. She felt loved and she made that clear to us as her parents, she called you "my bikers". Your leather jackets, your patches, your silly masks, your chaps, your tattoos... none of those phased her. We are happy to know that we are teaching our little people not to judge a book by it's cover. You all have hearts of gold and my children were able to see that on Saturday, that shined bright like the sun. The goodness that you showed us was tremendous. We appreciate all of your support. It was an honor to spend the day with each of you. You have touched our lives in a way that you may never fully realize. I enjoyed listening to your biker banter, it brought back many happy memories of times I spent with my dad and all of his Harley riding friends. It was something I haven't felt since he passed away 2 years ago. I think it brought back a piece of me that I had pushed aside since his death, so thank you for that as well. I encourage you to continue to check back here or to reach out to me via email. I want you to all see the difference that you have made in our Bella's life. She came home and said she had a bunch of new "buddies". We'll be booking our flights soon thanks to all of your kindness and support.

Much love from our family to all of yours!

Loving life

We've been busy loving life at the Zizzo house. With 3 little kids, there are never any empty moments, constant laughter, occasional crying, tantrums, bumps, bruises, endless giggling, hugs, kisses, singing songs, dancing, making up songs then laughing about their silliness, snuggling, messes... the list goes on. It's crazy love over here! I can't imagine it any other way!

There's been a lull in the blog because of everything going on. Sometimes computers, cell phones, electronics must be put on hold so that life can be lived. Usually I have times in the evenings to update the blog but lately with a baby that cut four teeth in month, that lull of quiet time hasn't happened. Babies grow up, I've been busy snuggling babies!

Things are happening here. Life is in high gear. Camp is approaching quickly! Our application has been accepted and our spots have been reserved. We're sorting through sleeping arrangements for camp with the director. It's a little bit challenging and interesting but it'll be so much fun. They will be action packed days for sure! We're working on our flights too, watching airfare and getting ready to book in the next week. We have rental cars to figure out and all that good stuff. Traveling with 3 kids in car seats will be entertaining, we'll likely look like our own traveling circus! Heck we are our own traveling circus. We bring the animals in the form of tiny toddlers and a very mobile baby and Ryan and I are the animal tamers... wait or are we the animals and they are the tamers...

I've been helping prep for the bike run that Gary and Kathy Wetzel are doing. Random odds and ends of stuff to just make sure things go smoothly. I'm so excited. I'm also a little nervous. Let's be honest. My dad was a big time, hard core, rough and tough Harley biker. He lost his leg riding his Harley and never lost his love of the wind through his hair and the rumble at his feet. Bikers and motorcycles remind me of my dad. Sometimes I must fight back the tears when I hear the roar of their motors. It's hard to disconnect. Sometimes it brings back the good memories of him and our relationship. We loved each other madly. He was my first love, he set a good example of what to look for in a man. Anyhow, all of the motorcycles will surely trigger some of those memories. Gary reminds me a lot of my dad. Rough around the edges but soft in the middle, heart of gold. I think my dad had a hand in connecting Gary and our family.

The ride will happen this Saturday at Oak Creek Legion Post 434
Registration from 10-1pm
$10 per person
Cash prizes, raffle and poker run.
All vehicles and bikes are welcome! Bring your car, truck, motorcycle, minivan :) Come one, come all!

If you stop by, be sure to say hi. I'll be there most of the day and during the full registration time. Our entire family will be there for at least the first hour. Bella will be returning around 6 pm and staying until about 7:30 or so. Join us, we'd love to see you!

Emotional

Fox 6 news ran our story with Gary. Click here to watch I didn't get to watch the story on the news, life as usual was busy. I honestly forgot it was even scheduled to air. Being parents of three kids sometimes makes your mind wander to the daily tasks and lose track of other things. The interview was so impromtu. I met Gary and Kathy to pick up some flyers about the bike run and a Fox 6 reporter was there with a camera man. We chatted then they asked if they could follow us home to talk more. My first thought was "holy crap, our house is complete craziness right now". I figured what the heck, why not talk to them a little more if they were interested.

I found the article online without the video. I emailed Mike, the awesome reporter. He responded that it was live so I found it. I watched it during a break at work. I cried. I was emotional during the interview. I was emotional again today watching and reliving it all again. I get attached, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I get emotional. It's part of the strands that weave me together. I was emotional hearing more about Gary and his accident. I was emotional watching my child talk and giggle. I'm living it daily but sometimes it's nice to take a step back and soak it all up.

Yes our house is complete craziness, that day and every day. We have three kids who are little, they need lots of attention. Attention that we want to give them. Part of the reason our house is crazy is because we live in the moment. We get on the floor and play with our kids, we wrestle, we giggle, we color, we build. We do all of the things that little kids want to do. Laundry and cleaning go by the side at times, they'll always be there... little kids, they grow up. We embrace each day and live to the fullest.

Our kids teach us something every single day. Bella is the one that made me a mama, she is the child that taught me that even though I had thought I had loved to the fullest, I had not... When you have a child of your own, your heart explodes with love. It's incredible. Grayson taught me that I could love someone else again like I loved her. Luca, he taught me that your heart can never be too full of love and that there is always room for more. The laughter in the video, that's my girl. The little chubby guy on my lap, he's our last and the happiest baby I've ever met. The one in the middle, he admires his sister like no other. He lives and breathes to be around her.

In that video, I watch myself fighting the tears. My babies make me emotional. Being a mom, makes me emotional. Having Gary and Kathy reach out to help our family, that makes me emotional too.

Bowling for Bella takes Wisconsin

There was already a Bowling for Bella in Missouri and it was so much fun for everyone that we decided to do one in Wisconsin too. Part of the fun is that everyone can bowl! Big kids aka adults, little kids and everyone in between! Bella loves bowling or "bawling" as she calls it. We've worked closely with Hank at Bluemound Bowl to get everything in place for a bowling event. So here are the details:

Where: Bluemound Bowl

When: Sunday September 29th

Time: 4pm

What: 2 games of bowling and shoes for $10 if you pay by this Wednesday or $15 at the door

Extras: A raffle (tickets are $1 each) lots of great prizes have been donated by generous local businesses!

We are super excited to get everyone together to have a great afternoon family friendly event. Bring yourself, bring your kids, bring your family, bring your co-workers, bring your friends. Anyone that you think will enjoy an afternoon of bowling and hanging out. We'll be there with our little family of five and can't wait to see all of your sweet faces!

Please drop me an email at bellacampfund@hotmail.com if you need anymore information. 

Tina Fey's prayer

(Too much flash but what a sweet picture of Bella and Luca)

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

My Aunt CeeCee posted this on her facebook today and it's true for the most part. I don't care if she choses to get tattoos but pretty much everything else in this prayer, it's something I wish for not only Bella but her two brothers as well. It brought tears to my eyes so I figured if I felt emotional about it, I should document it. Where better to document it than right here. 

I remember becoming a mother for the first time and calling each of my parents to thank them for raising me. Parenthood is no joke, it's like being thrown into the trenches without being told how to get out! As a child you don't know all of the things that your parents do for you, nor should you. The middle of the night feeds, though seriously exhausting, are moments to embrace. They pass so quickly. The baby blowing raspberries with a mouth full of milk, I love that little raspberry blowing dude, even if it means I'm covered in milk. The 2 yr old with the big heart melting eyes that says "Pick me up Mama" when I'm trying to prepare dinner. I'll pick that kid up because soon enough, he won't want to be held or picked up. That 4 year old who stomps her foot and says "UGGGHHHH" when I ask her a question or tell her no to something, she's the spitting image of her mama. I hope that determination and spunk will take her far in life. 

The days, sometimes they drag by. The years, they fly by. I remember nursing her at 11 months in the middle of the night and wondering "When on earth will this child sleep through the night?!" The answer was right around the corner, she slept through the night at 13 1/2 months. Yep, you read that right, she was over a year. She taught me patience. She taught me that things can wait, babies grow up and the cobwebs and dishes will remain. She continues to teach me as do the boys. I'm lucky to have them, we're lucky to have them.