Showing posts from May, 2017

More words that hurt

Sometimes it's not what your child says that hurts you, it's what another adult says about your child.

I was talking to some other moms about the juggling at High Interest Day at our elementary school. It started out as a few moms having a conversation that lead to stinging and pain. I expressed the look on the jugglers face when "a child" walked in to juggling and I explained how the jugglers face couldn't hide his expression.

"Well you NEED two hands to juggle!"

My mind is blanking as to what my response was at this point. I mean, really I was kind of in shock. In shock that she didn't know that "the child" was MY daughter. In shock that she said that... in shock at her stupidity... you don't NEED two hands for anything actually. It would be nice to have two hands and as "that child said", it would be nice to have two hands like the rest of her family. It's for certain not a necessity.

"You CAN'T juggle with on…

Words that hurt

Bella was playing a new game I brought home from my Kansas City trip. I thought the game would be fun for all of us to play together. My mom bought two sets for the kids so we could all play, well most of it. She bought it at my suggestion.
We were all outside and playing. Bella would hold the bit with her right hand and then pull the ball off and then toss it with her right hand while holding her mitt under her left arm. She was able to toss it, then put the mitt back on. Well after sometime, she was told by someone "Just put it on your left hand then you don't have to move it"... she got frustrated and came into the house crying. I asked what was wrong. 

"I just wish I had two hands" she said through her tears. 
My heart broke into a million tiny pieces. I could literally feel it shattering within my chest. 
"What happened? Why would you say that?"
In my mind, I knew that there was a time that this would come. I mean there's always a time when w…

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mama's out there! (Better late than never right?!) This year, I actually got to spend part of mother's day with my mama! I was excited to say the least.

I didn't realize how much my parents really loved me until I became a parent myself. I remember Bella being born and it hitting me like a ton of bricks. How can I love this little person so much? How could I love her endlessly and unconditionally already? It's like your heart doubles in size the day you become a mother. I remember calling both of my parents and thanking them for loving me so much.

I was really lucky in the parent department. I was a difficult kid and teenager, at least in my own eyes. I made good grades, straight A's. I was hard on myself and I pushed myself to the brink. I would cause myself a fair amount of stress because I worked so hard and beat myself up when I scored less than 100%. My parents were supportive. They didn't pressure me to get 100%, instead …


Most people I know make fun of me for the amount of joy that purging brings me. It seriously makes me happy. Less is more. I'd rather create memories and moments than have nice, new furniture. My mom does both. My dad was more of a moments guy. Neither of them love purging as much as me. As far as my husband goes, he lets me do my thing, then asks if I'm pregnant. The nesting phase was real folks in all three pregnancies.
I set out to start the purge of the basement a few months ago. It's a good thing it's the basement and guests don't really go down there! Let's just say it looked like a war zone... or maybe it still does! Honestly though, I started at one end and worked toward the other end. I'm about 2/3 done (pictures to come). I stopped when I got to the toys. Toys are SO hard to purge. I firmly believe that less is more in that department and the kids get totally lost and side tracked because there's so much! I'm waiting for Bella to help me…

It takes a village

Today, I struggled with being a mother. Life is busy with three kids. There's activities, commitments, guitar lessons, girl scouts, two full time working parents, a marriage, three kids, a dog, four chickens, two vehicles, an RV, a house, laundry, dishes, meals, grass that needs to be mowed, work meetings, on call schedules, teacher meetings, bedtimes, bill paying, teeth brushing, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, baths... need I say more. I mean there's responsibilities galore. It's like a juggling act.

Today, those balls in the juggling act were falling far faster than I could catch any of them and I'm pretty sure I dropped them all. At the end of the night, we all made it out alive, though I couldn't exactly tell you how. There was crying, happiness, laughter, tears, yelling, giggling... it was like a night of bipolar emotions from all parties. The train stopped at every emotion station before stopping for the night.

Today, I struggled. Today, I called …


Our school does a thing called High Interest Day. It's a great day filled with fun and activities that our Parent Faculty Council (PFC) puts together. It's a LOT Of work for all involved but the kids come home with memories that can't be replaced. Bella once made a jump rope out of rubber bands that she was super proud of... until her younger brother decided to take it apart (yep, insert eye roll... ratty brothers!)

Bella missed the sign up day so one of her best buds signed her up. He signed her up for yoga, juggling, marbles, paper crafting and a few other things. I was volunteering in her brother's room for the morning but was able to pop in and see what she was doing from time to time as well. It was a nice way to see the school in action and the kids filled with smiles and laughter.
(Marble games)
I ended my sessions and was able to watch her do juggling for about 15 minutes before I headed out. I watched the demonstrator juggle scarfs, balls, bowling pins and a f…

Back in the insurance loop

Here we sit, back in the land of the insurance loop. I heard from Scheck and Siress yesterday about the process of the prosthetic. Bella was casted for the mold when we were down in Chicago after being seen at Shriners. She was told that "it usually takes about 3 days to make the prosthetic". What does that mean to a 7 year old? It means that in 3 days she'll have a prosthetic. Not the case. We had to talk about how it takes time and we have to practice patience. Something neither her or I are that good at!

So we are here, waiting once again for someone with two hands sitting behind a desk to approve a prosthetic for our daughter. It's so frustrating. It's frustrating because that "someone" sitting behind the desk gets to decide what fits for Bella. They don't live with her, they don't see her daily, they aren't aware of her challenges and yet that person gets to decide what's best. It irritates me. I'd happily invite them into our …

Yesterday was NOT my day

And today isn't looking good either!

I was all prepared and set to go to the gym. I loaded Luca up and we headed that way. I had everything I needed for a great workout. I sat my stuff on the back of the toilet while I used the bathroom, I finished, flushed and picked up my stuff... Only when I picked up my stuff, my ear buds FELL into the FLUSHING toilet. Away they went... well whatever, that wasn't going to stop me. I completed my workout and decided we'd meet Bella and Grayson at school for lunch after a quick pit stop at Target.

We got to Target and went to grab a couple of things. Luca was behaving really well and asked to get out of the cart. Why not I thought? So I picked him up and let him down letting him know that he needed to stay close. Within 2.6 seconds he pushed the emergency exit alarm. Then the super loud alarm started going off throughout the store. No employees were in sight, of course that would be my luck. I promptly LEFT the cart and b-lined for the f…

Shriner's update

Last Friday, was our Shriner's appointment. Our drive down is a little under 2 hours and we forgot Bella's kindle. Let me tell you she was thrilled about that (insert eye roll here!). However, it was a really good opportunity for her and I to chat about some things that are going on in her little 7 year old life. A good chance for mama and Bella bonding.

We made it to Shriner's and then checked out inside the hospital a bit. We did some reading, played with a little 16 month old guy who was also waiting, fishtailed braided Bella's hair and did some more chatting. We got called back and met with Dr Ackerman, Michael (from scheck & siress prosthetics) and a resident. Dr Ackerman agreed with me that a sports arm with a terminal device would be a good fit for Bella at this point in time. Did I lose you yet? The terminal device is the part of the prosthetic that goes on her left arm and then the "hand" portion is interchangeable... Why go this route? Because t…