Showing posts from February, 2016

Face Your Fears

That was the title of the piece I presented at Listen to your mother. I'll share it with you if they decide not to pick me to share my story. I struggled with naming what I had written because titles are tough for me to come by. I can write and write but titling something is always something I find challenging.

Today, I'm facing a different kind of challenge. I'm on edge, I'm sad. I feel broken. My heart is heavy. Each year around this time, I struggle. I fight the tears more often than not through March. Tomorrow is March. I'm partially dreading it being March 1st... I've told the story and I'm sure for the rest of you it gets old. On March 10, 2011 my dad died... suddenly and unexpectedly. Two days later, I gave birth to my second child, my first son. His name had been decided but on the way to the hospital my sweet husband decided his middle name should be changed to that of my fathers. And so in that moment without anyone knowing but us, he became Grays…

I did it!

I auditioned for Listen to Your Mother. I was nervous and talked fast... actually I told "our story" in THREE minutes... she said it was "record" time... I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Honestly, I'm happy to have had the opportunity to share our story. I'm proud to have shared it with the amazing ladies of LTYM and I'll be sure to keep you posted on the outcome!


Bella and I were at the store picking up some stuff for dinner (am I the only one who has everything exept ONE key ingredient, ugh!) and as we were leaving she noticed a boy in a wheelchair.

"Mom, he could go to my camp"

"Really why do you think that?"
"Well because he can't walk and it's for all kids that are different. He could make some friends there"

"Good thought Boo! Last summer remember that girl we saw at the park and I told her parents about Camp No Limits"

"No who was she? Do you think she'll be there?"

"Remember she was born missing part of her leg?"

"Well if she does go, I can be friends with her" We both smiled and then started talking about Sam Hunt (this kid is obsessed with his music!).

Bella is always really thoughtful about kids AND adults who are born different or appear different. She WANTS them to come to camp. I think it's hard for her to verbalize but in my mind, she wants them …

Did you really just say that?

When Bella was a brand new babe, I was at my sister-in-laws house. I was nursing her on the couch and her tiny little not even six pound body was covered almost completely by the nursing cover. Another mom walked in to pick up and some small talk occurred between the three of us, her, my sister in law and myself. She had adopted a little boy and was discussing his adoption process. She talked about "cleft lips and palates" and I remember her saying "well it's not like he's missing his arms or legs". I remember my sister in law looking at me. I remember thinking I wanted to lay my sweet girl on the couch and punch this other mom in her smiling face. 

My mind was racing with a million thoughts. My heart felt a twinge of pain for my child and for me. I don't remember what followed after that situation. I don't recall if I said something or not. Trust me, there were a million times when she was small that I did say something rude in response to someone&#…