Posts

Showing posts from 2017

More words that hurt

Sometimes it's not what your child says that hurts you, it's what another adult says about your child.

I was talking to some other moms about the juggling at High Interest Day at our elementary school. It started out as a few moms having a conversation that lead to stinging and pain. I expressed the look on the jugglers face when "a child" walked in to juggling and I explained how the jugglers face couldn't hide his expression.

"Well you NEED two hands to juggle!"

My mind is blanking as to what my response was at this point. I mean, really I was kind of in shock. In shock that she didn't know that "the child" was MY daughter. In shock that she said that... in shock at her stupidity... you don't NEED two hands for anything actually. It would be nice to have two hands and as "that child said", it would be nice to have two hands like the rest of her family. It's for certain not a necessity.

"You CAN'T juggle with on…

Words that hurt

Image
Bella was playing a new game I brought home from my Kansas City trip. I thought the game would be fun for all of us to play together. My mom bought two sets for the kids so we could all play, well most of it. She bought it at my suggestion.
We were all outside and playing. Bella would hold the bit with her right hand and then pull the ball off and then toss it with her right hand while holding her mitt under her left arm. She was able to toss it, then put the mitt back on. Well after sometime, she was told by someone "Just put it on your left hand then you don't have to move it"... she got frustrated and came into the house crying. I asked what was wrong. 

"I just wish I had two hands" she said through her tears. 
My heart broke into a million tiny pieces. I could literally feel it shattering within my chest. 
"What happened? Why would you say that?"
In my mind, I knew that there was a time that this would come. I mean there's always a time when w…

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mama's out there! (Better late than never right?!) This year, I actually got to spend part of mother's day with my mama! I was excited to say the least.



I didn't realize how much my parents really loved me until I became a parent myself. I remember Bella being born and it hitting me like a ton of bricks. How can I love this little person so much? How could I love her endlessly and unconditionally already? It's like your heart doubles in size the day you become a mother. I remember calling both of my parents and thanking them for loving me so much.


I was really lucky in the parent department. I was a difficult kid and teenager, at least in my own eyes. I made good grades, straight A's. I was hard on myself and I pushed myself to the brink. I would cause myself a fair amount of stress because I worked so hard and beat myself up when I scored less than 100%. My parents were supportive. They didn't pressure me to get 100%, instead …

Purging

Image
Most people I know make fun of me for the amount of joy that purging brings me. It seriously makes me happy. Less is more. I'd rather create memories and moments than have nice, new furniture. My mom does both. My dad was more of a moments guy. Neither of them love purging as much as me. As far as my husband goes, he lets me do my thing, then asks if I'm pregnant. The nesting phase was real folks in all three pregnancies.
I set out to start the purge of the basement a few months ago. It's a good thing it's the basement and guests don't really go down there! Let's just say it looked like a war zone... or maybe it still does! Honestly though, I started at one end and worked toward the other end. I'm about 2/3 done (pictures to come). I stopped when I got to the toys. Toys are SO hard to purge. I firmly believe that less is more in that department and the kids get totally lost and side tracked because there's so much! I'm waiting for Bella to help me…

It takes a village

Today, I struggled with being a mother. Life is busy with three kids. There's activities, commitments, guitar lessons, girl scouts, two full time working parents, a marriage, three kids, a dog, four chickens, two vehicles, an RV, a house, laundry, dishes, meals, grass that needs to be mowed, work meetings, on call schedules, teacher meetings, bedtimes, bill paying, teeth brushing, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, baths... need I say more. I mean there's responsibilities galore. It's like a juggling act.

Today, those balls in the juggling act were falling far faster than I could catch any of them and I'm pretty sure I dropped them all. At the end of the night, we all made it out alive, though I couldn't exactly tell you how. There was crying, happiness, laughter, tears, yelling, giggling... it was like a night of bipolar emotions from all parties. The train stopped at every emotion station before stopping for the night.

Today, I struggled. Today, I called …

Juggling?!

Image
Our school does a thing called High Interest Day. It's a great day filled with fun and activities that our Parent Faculty Council (PFC) puts together. It's a LOT Of work for all involved but the kids come home with memories that can't be replaced. Bella once made a jump rope out of rubber bands that she was super proud of... until her younger brother decided to take it apart (yep, insert eye roll... ratty brothers!)

Bella missed the sign up day so one of her best buds signed her up. He signed her up for yoga, juggling, marbles, paper crafting and a few other things. I was volunteering in her brother's room for the morning but was able to pop in and see what she was doing from time to time as well. It was a nice way to see the school in action and the kids filled with smiles and laughter.
(Marble games)
I ended my sessions and was able to watch her do juggling for about 15 minutes before I headed out. I watched the demonstrator juggle scarfs, balls, bowling pins and a f…

Back in the insurance loop

Image
Here we sit, back in the land of the insurance loop. I heard from Scheck and Siress yesterday about the process of the prosthetic. Bella was casted for the mold when we were down in Chicago after being seen at Shriners. She was told that "it usually takes about 3 days to make the prosthetic". What does that mean to a 7 year old? It means that in 3 days she'll have a prosthetic. Not the case. We had to talk about how it takes time and we have to practice patience. Something neither her or I are that good at!

So we are here, waiting once again for someone with two hands sitting behind a desk to approve a prosthetic for our daughter. It's so frustrating. It's frustrating because that "someone" sitting behind the desk gets to decide what fits for Bella. They don't live with her, they don't see her daily, they aren't aware of her challenges and yet that person gets to decide what's best. It irritates me. I'd happily invite them into our …

Yesterday was NOT my day

And today isn't looking good either!

I was all prepared and set to go to the gym. I loaded Luca up and we headed that way. I had everything I needed for a great workout. I sat my stuff on the back of the toilet while I used the bathroom, I finished, flushed and picked up my stuff... Only when I picked up my stuff, my ear buds FELL into the FLUSHING toilet. Away they went... well whatever, that wasn't going to stop me. I completed my workout and decided we'd meet Bella and Grayson at school for lunch after a quick pit stop at Target.

We got to Target and went to grab a couple of things. Luca was behaving really well and asked to get out of the cart. Why not I thought? So I picked him up and let him down letting him know that he needed to stay close. Within 2.6 seconds he pushed the emergency exit alarm. Then the super loud alarm started going off throughout the store. No employees were in sight, of course that would be my luck. I promptly LEFT the cart and b-lined for the f…

Shriner's update

Image
Last Friday, was our Shriner's appointment. Our drive down is a little under 2 hours and we forgot Bella's kindle. Let me tell you she was thrilled about that (insert eye roll here!). However, it was a really good opportunity for her and I to chat about some things that are going on in her little 7 year old life. A good chance for mama and Bella bonding.

We made it to Shriner's and then checked out inside the hospital a bit. We did some reading, played with a little 16 month old guy who was also waiting, fishtailed braided Bella's hair and did some more chatting. We got called back and met with Dr Ackerman, Michael (from scheck & siress prosthetics) and a resident. Dr Ackerman agreed with me that a sports arm with a terminal device would be a good fit for Bella at this point in time. Did I lose you yet? The terminal device is the part of the prosthetic that goes on her left arm and then the "hand" portion is interchangeable... Why go this route? Because t…

Off to Shriners we go!

Friday we (as in we I mean Bella) have an appointment at Shriner's Hospital in Chicago. We are discussing "Sports arms" specifically and joints. Some things you learn as you go and currently we are learning that we need something different for Bella to be fully included in PE. While her PE teacher is amazing and is doing everything she can, we both thought now was the time to reach out to the "big dogs"...

Bella's pediatrician is no expert in limb differences. I mean, while they seem common to me because I have a community filled with people with limb differences and amputations, they really aren't something that everyone knows about. For us, it's a lot of advocating on my part and education. I'm the one talking to her pediatrician about her needs and advocating for things that may help her.

Bella does have a wrist in her left arm which complicates things a bit. Due to her wrist, we have the elbow joint AND the wrist joint to worry about. We hav…

Float Milwaukee Review

Image
Sweet baby Jesus! Where do I begin? I’ve wanted to try floating for some time and it was never a priority until I won a float. A free float? Well that certainly makes it a priority!

I arrived and parked in a gravel lot across the street (free parking). I took off my shoes, put on the sandals they had and was greeted right away. I signed a waiver while they were finishing the filtration on the pod.
Once you enter into the hallway, it feels very much like a spa. It smells clean, the inside was clean and the colors were neutral and calming. The young man working showed me around and then took me to room 5 where I would see my “floating” pool. *Cue to angels singing* I was given the full rundown on how things were, how to control the light, the noise, where the panic button was located, etc. He explained to shower prior to entering and then rinse off after. He gave me a very good rundown on everything and I felt like I was very informed.
(I'm in love with that art work!)

I opted to flo…

From 1... to 2... to 3!

Image
A mom in a Facebook group asked about having more than one child. I'm going to share my opinion here on how it all went down for us. 
(Gah so tiny!)
 Can I possibly love #2 as much as I love my first? Okay so I legit cried about this while I was pregnant. How could my heart fill up and love someone as much as I loved Bella? I remember having MANY lengthy conversations with my dad about this. He assured me that it wasn't an issue (but let's by honest I'll always be both of my parents favorite, don't tell my brother! Okay so maybe he'll read this... just kidding brother!) No really he assured me that instead of feeling like my heart was pulled in both directions, it would double. As if, I thought. He'd lost his mind and lying was the only way he was going to get another grandkid out of me.. wait I was ALREADY pregnant, now what? Yep more conversations... I'm pretty sure my husband had thought I lost my mind. Maybe I had... My dad just kept saying, don'…

Denials

Image
Our insurance hasn't been the best when it comes to getting Bella the things she needs. It feels like we are constantly jumping through hoops when we are trying to get things that we think she needs or benefits her. Currently we are STILL working with Hanger and her pediatrician about a prosthetic. 
Her pediatrician isn't well versed in limb differences which can make it slightly difficult to get the resources that we need. This means that I end up educating her pediatrician on the resources we need and then showing her why they would be beneficial. As everyone knows, those pediatrician appointments aren't that long and don't leave much time for discussion. Which isn't a big deal for most but when I need to do some education about resources and needs, this can create an issue. 
Shriners is an amazing resource that we connected with years ago. At that time, we found out that there weren't really any immediate needs. Bella didn't want anything or find anything…

Beauty and the Beast review

Image
I keep seeing posts with friends asking "Is Beauty and the Beast too scary for my child?" We watched it and couldn't love it enough! It was a really great and engaging movie. It's very much like the cartoon movie... only not a cartoon.


Luca and Grayson were fully engaged. They both sat quietly and watched... well that's not the whole truth. Luca talks 24/7... yep like even in his sleep. So there were times when we had to say "Oh shh watch the movie, let's see what happens next". Like multiple times. He wanted to talk about what was happening and what he thought was going to happen next. Grayson on the other hand like our chill easy going guy, just watched and sat quietly.

Bella watched quietly and took everything in. Nearing the end of the movie, I saw tears in her eyes.

I whispered "Are you ok?"

"Mom he looks scary but if they really got to know him then they would know he's not" her eyes remained filled with tears. We cu…

Communication

A little over a week ago, Bella was doing some gymnastics during her PE time and hurt herself. She was doing a handstand and fell over as a result of her left hand slipping out from under her. We were not notified by school and Bella was in a fair amount of pain when I picked her up after school. She told me that her left hand slipped out from under her and she feel, injuring her neck. She said she told the gym teacher and was sent to the office for an ice pack. This mama bear was a little (ok a lot) heated that I didn't receive a phone call. I did a neuro assessment and checked did a solid head to toe assessment (thank goodness for 15 years of pediatric nursing experience)! I talked with her doctor and we agreed that bringing her in to the office in the morning was also a good idea.

On the way to the office that morning, I called her school. No one could tell me what happened just that she got an ice pack. Her PE teacher was in classes all day so that didn't help either. It&…

The one with...

Image
I once had a friend that had a blog titled "The one with..." I was reminded of her blog today when we were hanging out and crafting... looking through old pictures of our babies. We started our blogs when our oldest, both girls, were teensy, weensy babies. Our girls are super close in age and have been around each other since they were tiny. We were lucky enough to have boys together at the same time too. I couldn't convince her to have a third. She's smarter than me! :)

Today we got to hang out, craft and catch up. Both of her kids are in school (see I told you she was smarter than me!) and Luca is still home. We talked about what's going on in life and what our latest Pinterest projects are, as if we truly have a ton of time. I worked on the kids baby books (better late than never!) and she worked on scrapbooking some of their amazing vacation. She's the kind of person you can see every day or not see for months and it's like you never missed a beat.
Sh…