Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Recess woes

Bella came home yesterday a bit sad. Her "friends" weren't being really friendly.

Her boy friends like to play football at recess and she's afraid the ball is going to hit her. Something we'll work on eventually... she's been working on it with her PE teacher but she needs more practice, clearly. Let's just say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I hate (strong but true word) balls flying at my head... football would be my very last choice to play.

Her girl friends were playing with a girl that "doesn't want me to play with them". She always says "Don't play with Bella". To be fair, I've been around this child and she's kind of harsh and very opinionated. It's her way or the highway... While I've tried to coach Bella to find a new set of friends, she very much wants to be friends with everyone.

What does this mean for us as parents? It means instilling a bit more confidence in our girl. Ryan said "you are like the nicest and kindest kid ever!" While we think that's true, it doesn't matter since we aren't eight year olds. What matters is that Bella knows how to advocate for herself and how to chose friends that are worthwhile. It also means teaching her that she doesn't need to be friends with everyone.

What does that look like to an eight-year-old? It means treating everyone with kindness. It means welcoming everyone into your playgroup but being okay with the fact that not everyone wants to play with you. It means being accepting of those who are different and those who are they same. Embracing others individuality and uniqueness. It's okay not to be friends with everyone... it's NOT okay to be rude, disrespectful or hurtful.

This week at recess, Bella said "I played with George *Name changed for privacy*". "No one likes George but he's a really nice kid". I commended her for welcoming him to play and that it's okay to play with him if "no one likes him"... she said "people don't like him because he's different." We talked about how hurtful this must be for him and that even though he's "different", he's the same in many ways. He's a 3rd grader just like the rest of her grade, he's learning the same things, he goes to the same school... there are LOTS of things that are the same. I talked to her about how important it is to make him feel included and how it's important for her to stick up for him. Being a true friend looks like someone who will be there for you when others aren't. She understood that.

Being a third grader is no easy task... kids are starting to figure out who they get along with, who plays and interacts well together, who doesn't, they are really starting to figure out who they are and who they want to be. We talked about how when she grew up, many of her friends in third grade might not be her friends now! She thought that was kind of sad. I agreed, but also explained that we meet lots of people along our journeys in life.

Many of my friends now are people I work with or have worked with, moms of kids in my kids school, parents in the PFC, friends from nursing school... We talked about how friendships change as you grow up and how your friends change too. Each friend you have brings something different to your life and relationships. Each friendship is unique. Life will take go through different twists and turns and there will be friends who help you along the way.

No comments:

Post a Comment

The joys of being a mama

Being a parent is NO joke. I just had a conversation with one of my aunts about how as parents we do the very best we can and sometimes its ...