Sunday, October 16, 2016

Perfectly flawed

My aunt posted about missing my grandmother. She died what seems like many years ago... before I had kids. She had ALS. It's a horrific disease. My aunt said she was "perfectly flawed". It made me think about myself and about my kids.

When I went to visit my sister in law before Bella ever started daycare, another mom came in to pick up her son. She said "he was born with a cleft lip, it's not like missing a hand or foot something." I remember my heart sinking as I nursed my little 6 pound love bug under a nursing cover. I don't remember the specifics of what happened but I do know that although Bella has an obvious limb difference, it's by no means a flaw in my eyes.

Bella is perfect. She has flaws just like EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this plant. Some of them have yet to be discovered I'm sure.  I'm her mother and I am not here to put them on the internet... what I will put out here are my flaws. Some of my flaws are also my strengths... one example, I'm SO type A and I like to get things done perfect the first time and I don't like to delegate. This can make life challenging at times and also frustrating. Another thing about it is that it gets done the way I want and then it makes me happy in the end... so what is my flaw is also a strength.

I'm full of flaws. Some are visible and some are not... I challenge you to be perfectly flawed. To celebrate your differences, whether visible or not. I challenge you to support those around you and their flaws as well. Kindness makes a giant difference!

Friday, October 14, 2016

Life and madness

This life is a crazy life but it's our life and I wouldn't trade it for the world...

I'm sitting at our kitchen table trying to work. I'm surrounded by half-eaten bowls of cereal, a reading journal, play doh, a number of water cups, a cereal box, tiny shoes, messy walls and sight words to name a few. I'm also surrounded by this computer, a pediatric textbook (that's a mere 2046 pages), a binder full of exams, printed off powerpoints, highlighters, pens, post its, a flash drive, my cell phone and a purse.

Today was busy as are most days. I did 4 loads of laundry without rewashing a single one (Can I get an Amen?!). I met with a student. I met with another mom. I met with a teacher at our child's school. I went to recess with Bella and Grayson. I heard a secret from one little girl about how Grayson told her that he loved her so much he could kiss her (help me God!). I laughed... and I've almost cried.

I'm a full time working mama. My days are filled with emails... hundreds of emails. Emails from students, other professors, school, other moms at my kids school, parties, and random other junk. My mornings are rushed, making lunches, cleaning faces, fixing ponytails, encouraging teeth brushing and racing out the door in the nick of time. My evenings are filled with snacks, dinner, homework, reading, worksheets, grading, more emails, more reading, bath, snuggles and bedtime. There are nights I fall asleep on the couch... more nights than I care to admit.

I wouldn't trade my career for the world. I love nursing, I love pediatric nursing, I love students, teaching, my colleagues at my college, education, labs, lectures, clinical and simulations. I'm teaching my kids about my passion and showing them that I can be successful. I'm helping to afford us to skip the new couch and go camping instead or on vacation. I've traded bedside nursing and long shifts to more time at home in the evenings and no weekends. I've traded missing holidays to being present at every single one.

I wouldn't trade being a mother for the world either. It challenges me many times more than my career. It's filled my house with tiny shoes, messy floors, laughter and most of all love. Someday, I'll miss the many loads of laundry or finding a potato that came down the laundry shoot. I'll miss the tiny handprints on the mirrors and the messy floors. In my heart, I know that I will. I wonder if I'll even feel a little lonely without them here. My kids have taught me to love unconditionally and how to stand up and set a solid example for them.

As mothers and parents, I encourage you to be supportive. I'm on pinterest although most days it makes me feel inadequate. I mean who has time to complete 20 projects, fancy dinners, totally organized houses? Do you remember me saying that I'm proud that I didn't have to re-wash any laundry from forgetting it today? Be kind to each other. I know I could use a little support every now and then to feel more normal.

CAMP NO LIMITS all booked!

This picture was taken just last weekend while we were camping. Bella and I were walking around the camp ground just the girls. Dirty from...