Thursday, June 22, 2017

I hate cancer!

No seriously, I do. Like really really hate it. Our family has been impacted by cancer more times that I care to talk about. Each road has been long and windy, with the wind in your face and the weight of the world on my shoulders, each time, I stood by the side of my loved ones.

Almost 8 years and my mom fought and WON her battle. I remember the initial diagnosis, I remember the fear, the sadness, the overwhelming emotion, the hurt, the hate, the cuss words, the crying, finding joy felt next to impossible. I questioned if there was a God and if there was, why he did this to her, to us... It wasn't pretty. I remember taking her shopping and her puking in the bathroom. I remember us laughing through the tears. I remember her yelling the F-bomb at the nurse during her bone marrow biopsy. I remember begging them to give her drugs, strong drugs. I remember begging God to save her. It was a long year... but it changed things. It made me realize how much I love my mom and I rely on her... it also made me realize that when the going gets hard, you step up and get that shit done.

A few days ago, our sweet "date night" sitter, was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia. Why am I sharing this? Because my heart is heavy. She's too young for this, she's too sweet for this. It brought back the flood of emotions that I felt when my own mother was diagnosed. I thought about HER mother and how much panic I would have as a mother now. I reached out to her AND her mother. This isn't fair. All of those questions that came up with my mom, came up for me with her... Why her? Why now? I'm questioning God again, I'm questioning lots of things.

Here's the thing, I met her on Facebook. We talked and I instantly adored her. I felt like she had been a part of our family for an eternity. The kids slept the first couple of times. Once they finally were awake, they raved about her. And she survived them being awake so that's a good sign :) All jokes aside, a post on Facebook created our connection, it brought her into our lives for a reason. I've told the kids that she's sick. They made her videos (all sweet Bella Boo's idea) and I sent them to her. They are coloring pictures and asking to visit her. It's clear she's made a positive impact on her life.

While all this came up, my first thought was THANK GOD I'm a registered bone marrow donor. THIS is the exact reason why, because no one should ever have to go through this. If my bone marrow would save a life, I wouldn't hesitate for a split second. In this case especially, I reached out and said "I'll do it". I have NO hesitations if it comes to that. I adore her.

Hug your loved ones tight tonight, keep your little ones up a little late. We are never ever promised another moment... remember my dad... yeah I would give 10 years of my life to see him one more time. We are never promised anything. What we are promised is that you have that moment in front of you, right now, don't wait. Say your prayers tonight and pray for our sweet sitter, her mama and her two younger sisters. Her journey ahead will not be easy, there will be bumps and bruises along the way. Their road just started. Pray for her, wish on a star, cross your fingers and your toes. She needs it and she's worth it.

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