Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Don't stare and whisper

I took all three kids swimming yesterday, alone. It's no easy task that's for sure. No one drowned, or choked so we'll call it a success. They actually all had a really good time. There was splashing and laughing and giggling. We stayed in the pool for an hour, which is a record! Usually after about 20 minutes people are ready to go.

As we were leaving, there was a couple in the pool. They appeared to be a little longer than me. They kept looking at me and whispering. I'm good at paying attention and figuring things out. I was able to figure out that they were talking about the dark circles under my eyes. I tried not to let it bother me but it did. For some reason I couldn't shake it. I wanted to say something but didn't. They were talking loud enough that I could hear every word they were saying.

We left and I thought about it for our short drive home. Why did it bother me so much? Why couldn't I shake it? Was it really that big of a deal? It's not like it's something I could control. But it did, it did bother me.

Should I have said something? Probably... why didn't I? Because what would saying something have done. What would I have said? Would it have made me feel better... or worse?

Let's be real. Staring and whispering (or thinking you are whispering) doesn't make people feel good. It doesn't make you look good and it achieves nothing. Be mindful of your interactions with those that are close to you. Be mindful about how they might make others feel.

Today, my dark circles are me. My dad had them too. They are a part of him that's passed on to me (thanks so much for that!). He happens to have passed away five years ago. Each time I look into the mirror and curse those dark circles... I'm also reminded of him. Don't get me wrong, I still curse those circles but for me, it's also a visual reminder of some other things in my life. It's a reminder of my allergies that he also shared. It's a reminder that I'm a mom and an employee and missing sleep does not make them better. It's a reminder of the times I shared with him and the sweet memory of his never ending love. Even still to this day, I know exactly how much he loved me. Today, I'll embrace those dark circles (though covered with a bunch of concealer) and remember though they may stand out in a negative way to others, they are a part of me. They are a part of the generation before me. They are a part of my life and my story.

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