Monday, June 20, 2016

Take a step back

As I keep reading Facebook and struggle with whether to keep reading or take a step back. I took a step back. I hugged my children tighter, I snuggled them on an evening when we literally had no time and they should have been in bed an hour before. I giggled with them until my face hurt. I kissed their faces until my cheeks hurt. I held them tightly in my arms.

I thought about the parents of little Lane, the boy that got drug into the water by an alligator at Disney. I pondered the what-if's that I know they were pondering. What if we would have went to bed instead of went to watch the movie on the beach? What if we had chosen not to wade in the water? What if the signs had said there were alligators in the water? What if... I thought about my children and how I would want to end my own life if I lost one of them. I'm sure the pain would be too severe to go on.

 I thought about his sister, just a few years older. I thought about my baby (33 year old) brother and how my heart would be shattered if I lost him. I thought about the way he makes me laugh, his personality, the way he throws my kids into the air, the way he's so thoughtful, the way that he comforts me when I need it.

My cry to you is to give these parents a break. They did the very best they could. THEY are playing the what-if's a thousand times over. Don't judge them. Do you believe in God? Don't you think HE will judge them when the time comes? Put yourself in their shoes, don't you think they are judging their every moment and action? Does it help for all of us, complete strangers, to judge them too? Don't you think they are going through enough? Please, I beg of you, stop judging and start loving.

I'm a mother of a lightening fast 3 year old. I cut his thumb on my razor last night. It was minor. There was blood. He screamed, tears rolled down his cheeks. "No touch it!" "I dot it!" He screamed at me and Ryan. My eyes filled with with tears as he cried. What if I hadn't shaved my legs that morning? What if I put my razor up high like I usually do? What if I hadn't turned my back for a split second? A bandaid, some cuddling, some ABCD's (as he calls them) and some bushel and a peck cured his tiny thumb. I apologized to him time and time again. "It's otay mama, you no do that adin" My heart felt like it needed a bandaid. He didn't die. It was minor.... but what if?

Please, please, please. Stop judging, start loving. People are doing the very best they can.

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