Motherhood

It wasn't until I became a mother that I truly understood or appreciated how my parents felt about me. I don't think it's something you can ever fully understand unless you become a parent yourself. I have a different appreciation for my parents and the decisions they made. I remember rolling my eyes at them and many times thinking they were nuts for the decisions they were making. Truth of the matter is that they were just doing the very best they could in that moment. Could they have done better? Maybe, but who am I to judge. Could they have done worse? You bet! I'd like to think that I turned out okay and I'm sure they think they did a decent job too.

I can tell you this, that each time, my newborn was put into my arms, my heart exploded with the love I felt. I remember driving to work and talking to Bella in my stomach about all of my hopes and dreams for her. I remember being thankful that my body had the ability to carry a child. I wouldn't trade carrying those kids inside of me for anything in this world. As a parent, we have high hopes for each of our children. My hopes and dreams for each of them is happiness. I don't care if they chose a specific religion or career path. I don't care if they chose a same-sex partner for marriage. I do care that they are happy. That they are kind and considerate to others. That they are compassionate and open-minded and respectful of other's beliefs. It is not our place to judge.

I know for a fact that my parents did the very best they could in each of the moments they were given with me. They have encouraged me and supported me. I pray that my children find me supportive and encouraging of their endeavors. I hope that when they become adults they will still love and cherish our relationship.  I hope that they will someday understand that I am making the best decisions that I can as a mother for them. 

Today, I'm thankful that I was chosen to be the mother of these three gems. Some days (MOST days!) they push me to my limits. I would be lying if I said there weren't days I was counting the hours until bedtime. I would also be lying if I didn't say there were days that I didn't miss snuggling their tiny naked little newborn body against my bare chest. Someday, I will miss the messy faces and floors. Someday, I will miss the madness and craziness. Today, I'll embrace it! Today, I'll be thankful that they each want me to crawl into bed with them and "Nuggle" or talk about our day. Today and every day, I'll be thankful that they are mine and I am theirs.